If you have met someone online, via one of the online dating sites, who you think could be the right person for you, sooner or later, you will want to meet up. But how do you know when the right time for meeting up is? You obviously do not want to meet up too early nor would you want to meet up too late into the “relationship.”
Here are some of the guidelines which I follow when wanting to meet up with someone I have met online. Please note that these guidelines are based on my experience as well as with my friends’ experiences. We’ve had some success following these guidelines and by sharing them with you, it is my hope that you find success too.
1. Be sure you are comfortable with the person before meeting up
When meeting someone you have met online, it is important that you are comfortable with the thought of meeting up with him/her. It would pay to follow your instincts on this. It would be good to have exchanged a couple of emails and possibly a few phone calls before you decide to meet up.
2. Never meet on the day you met online.
Following the first rule, it follows that you should never meet on the first day that you have gotten in touch with each other. Never agree when someone contacts you and immediately suggests to meet up because “he/she is in the area” even when he/she looks just like your dream. Nor should you meet up with him within the same week. It always pays to get to know the person first before you meet up as you never know who you are agreeing to meet with.
3. Exchange a healthy number of emails before meeting up
By exchanging several emails, you get a chance to see his/her communication style. These are just some of the things you need to watch out for -
- Is he/she able to express himself/herself well? Or does he/she respond with a one-sentence reply to your two-paragraph email?
- Does he/she reply immediately? Or does it take about five days to receive a reply?
- Does he/she engage in a conversation with you? Or is he/she content with letting you write about your life without him/her needing to share his/hers?
4. Do not email for several months before meeting up
While I do say that you need to be comfortable before meeting up, this does not mean that you should wait several months before meeting up. Keep in mind that some people have a tendency to sound differently online than they do offline. This could give you a different impression of him/her and could set you up for possible disappointment. You do not want to have the illusion of having chemistry only to find out that it isn’t there offline.
Of course, there are always some exceptions to this rule. If the person lives far away from you, you will have no choice but to wait until travel arrangements can be made. However, if you both live in the same city, then there is no excuse for why you both should wait several months before meeting up.
5. See each other online first before meeting offline.
As a general rule, I always like to “meet” online first before actually meeting offline. You can do this via any of the online chat programs such as Yahoo! Messenger or even Skype. Use a webcam and require him/her to use a webcam too. This way, you know what to expect when you finally meet offline.
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