Dear Rachael,
You have very nice and interesting posts. I especially like the fact that you engage your readers in a conversation with you. I wish your site would have a forum soon so we can all communicate and share with each other directly.
As I was reading your articles on dating and weddings, it makes me wonder what makes a great relationship. What is it that successful couples do that the other couples may not be doing? It always amazes me to see couples who have been together for decades.
I’ve been through some rough relationships in the past and none of them lasted longer than a year. I am currently in a new relationship with someone who I think is absolutely wonderful and I would really love to make this work.
Susan
I did a bit research and have come up with the Top 4 “rules” in making your relationship last -
1. Share your expectations and needs
Couples need to understand each other’s need and wants. It is not enough that you communicate with each other. What you communicate about and how you communicate will help a lot to nurture your relationship.
Each of us have expectations of what we want in our partner and in our relationship. Knowing what your partner expects out of you and your relationship will make things easier on both of you as you will both be able to avoid the frustration that comes out of the day-to-day disappointment caused by the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts.
This frustration is very damaging to the relationship and piles up. So be sure to check in with your partner regarding his/her expectations at least once a year as expectations change.
2. Nurture the Positive
To keep a relationship going, you need to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects, it would be best to focus on the things that make you feel blessed to be with him/her. Doing this will add more fun and excitement to your relationship.
The more positive feelings you have toward your partner and the relationship you are in, the more you are willing to work it out. Keep in mind that a happy relationship is one where the positive far outweighs the negative.
3. Show Your Love
Everyone needs love and affirmation. We all want to feel loved and appreciated. It makes us happier and makes us feel good about ourselves.
It would be to your advantage if you make an effort to show your partner how much you appreciate and love him/her. Compliment him/her, be gracious and respect him/her. Small compliments will go a long way to keep you and your partner smiling.
4. Make Time for Each Other
For couples who have been together for sometime, it is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of responsibilities and chores that they no longer have time for each other. Do not let this happen to you.
It is important that you allot time for each other each week just to reconnect and to keep the relationship going. Continue to discover each other. It does not have to be heavy conversation all the time. Even fun conversation topics can help you get to know each other better.
Do not follow the old advice which says that you need to be mysterious to keep the love alive. That is not true. To keep the love alive, you need to be in touch with your partner and you need to know him/her intimately.
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