Hi Rachael,
Great blog! I am one of the people who follow your blog regularly.
I have been in a relationship with someone for the past two years and lately, we have been talking about moving in together. While I adore him, I can’t help but think whether he is “The One.” I know I love him but I would hate to make a mistake. If you have any articles on this topic, I would appreciate it if you can share them with me.
Thanks!
Finding “The One”
Anytime you are in a relationship, you get to a point where you begin to question if he/she is the right person for you. While figuring this out may be an easy task for others, for some of us, this is doesn’t come as easily as we’d like it to be.
If you are considering moving in together, you need to ask yourself some really tough questions. Below are some of the signs that should make you think twice.
1. You want him to change some of his flaws.
If you have a list of his flaws that you would like him to change, this is not a good indication. Wanting to fix his flaws could mean that he is not the right partner for you. You need to have someone whose flaws you can accept and embrace. While you cannot find a person without any flaw, you can focus on finding someone who is perfect for you – flaws and all.
2. You are having difficulty trusting him.
While a little bit of jealousy may be okay, too much of it is not good. If you constantly find yourself checking on his whereabouts, checking on his phone and even hacking into his email account, this indicates that an unhealthy level of mistrust. You are better off not committing at this point.
3. You avoid conflict.
The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. When you avoid conflict, it could be a sign that you just don’t care enough to fight about it. A small dose of “rational and adult-like” fights are good as you get to air out your side and resolve your issues. This process results to a better understanding of each other.
Keep in mind that while ignoring problems look the same as having no problems, it is definitely not the same.
4. You don’t want him to see you at your worst.
If you are sad and crying your heart out, do you turn to him for comfort? Or do you keep to yourself for fear that he will see you looking your worst? The perfect one for you should be someone you can turn to when you are feeling your worst. He should be able to help you smile through all your troubles and make you feel calm instead of being stressed out that he is seeing you that way.
5. You are not attracted to him.
However much you deny it, physical intimacy is an important aspect of a romantic relationship. If you are not attracted to him, he is probably not your best long-term match.
More on this on my next post.
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