Dear Rachael,
I have recently tried online dating and unfortunately, have not made any significant progress. I am wondering if there is something I am doing wrong. Perhaps I need to change the way I write my profile? Do you have any tips on how to create a good profile? I would like to create a more interesting one but I am having difficulty with it. Please help.
Thanks in advance!
Name withheld upon request
When creating online profiles, it is important that you are honest about yourself and what you want. Doing otherwise, is just bound to cause you a lot of frustration. I have written a post on Creating an Attention-Grabbing Online Profile in the past. You may want to take a look at that. In addition, here are some more tips to creating online profiles that produce results -
1. Always use a current photo
When it comes to online dating, it is important that you use a current picture on your profile. Posting a photos that was taken years ago when you were younger and thinner only creates false expectations. When this happens, you are not only risking disappointment but also the breakdown of the connection you are starting to build between the two of you.
This personally happened to one of my friends. When she went to meet a guy she has been communicating with online, she was surprised to see that the guy she was meeting looked older and with lesser hair. Apparently, his online photo was taken years ago. More than the disappointment she felt upon seeing him, the feeling that she was deceived halted all her initial intentions of moving forward. She didn’t understand why he didn’t feel compelled to let her know that the photo was old and was worried about all the other things that he could have intentionally neglected to mention.
2. Use a conversational tone
When writing your profile, it is important that you listen to what you write. Read it aloud and see if it sounds like you. Your goal should be to write the way you talk so that the person reading it will get a glimpse of how you sound like.
A formal write up does not sound too enticing and gives a perception that you are probably serious, prim and proper. On the other hand, a too casual profile without regard to spelling and grammar will not attract attention either. Avoid casual spellings such as chillin’, n othr spellings made 4 Twitter. Write the way you talk, use a relaxed and casual quality and you are guaranteed to make a great first impression.
3. Use humor
An online profile or a personal ad should not sound like the “About Me” on your resume. Remember that you are not writing to get a job. Rather, you are writing to find someone who you can have fun with. Keep this in mind when you write your profile.
When injecting a sense of humor in your profile, do not be worried that other people may not get it. Keep in mind that those who will respond to your ad are those who got your joke and are those who, more or less, have the same sense of humor as you have.
4. Keep it real
When it comes to creating your profile, it would be to your advantage to say the truth. If you pretend that you like opera, you will end up going to the opera instead of the rock concert that you have been dying to go to. In addition, you will not be attracting the right people who share the same interests as you. Instead, what you will attract are the people who are compatible to the profile you have written.
Do not cheat yourself. This will only make you miss out on the people who could have been your best match.
5. Be positive
Your online profile or personal ad should reflect a sunny disposition. Sure, there are days when you would like to hide from the world and keep to yourself. However, your online profile is not the place to tell others about this.
Do not get me wrong. I am not telling you to lie. If you are really grouchy most of the time, you do not need to sound as jolly as a clown. For example, Instead of saying that you are skeptical that you will ever find love, say that you can’t wait to find love and prove that it exists. While they both basically say the same thing, the latter sounds more positive.
More on this on my next post.
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