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Dating Tips And Advice For Singles

June 23, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Every year millions of people are entering the dating scene, whether they’ve experienced it before or not. It can be quite nerve racking when you are new to dating, but it is something everyone can enjoy. There is no such thing as a dating expert, no matter what you hear. Every single person will struggle at some point in their life with relationships and dating. Dating is a continuous dating experience, good and bad experiences. There are many things you can learn along the way. Nows your chance to get a little extra knowledge within the dating scene, continue reading to get some dating advice and tips.

Make Dating Easy and Fun

One thing people always seem to forget is that dating can be easy and fun if you want it to be. You don’t have to stress out any longer. There are many things you are going to learn while trying to enter into the dating scene including:

  • How to attract people you want to attract
  • How to bloom the initial chemistry into a relationship
  • How to not limit yourself

Honestly, there isn’t any formulas or fail proof tricks and don’t think you are going to find a way to trap that Mr. or Miss Right. There are some facts you will want to be aware of along the way. With the vast amount of dating tips available online and through others, you never know what is true, what is false and what is down right ridiculous. In the end every individual takes on dating in their own personal way, making everyone’s advice difficult to reflect on every dater. There are however some universal tips that could help benefit you with dating. Dating can be easy and lots of fun if you take it with the right grasp and are prepared for not only success, but unsuccessful dating experiences. Keep your mind open to all possibilities.

Dating Tips

Dating Tip #1 – Get Prepared for Dating

If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won’t work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.

Dating Tip #2 – Get Your Act Together

Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.

Dating Tip #3 – Go Shopping

Treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.

Dating Tip #4 – Think of the Gain

Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don’t take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

Dating Tip #5 – Surround Yourself with Support

Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

Dating Tip #6 – Find the Right Match

Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

Dating Tip #7 – Join Up

Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups — anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.

Dating Tip #8 – Take a Break

Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

Dating Tip #9 – Enjoy Yourself

Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

Dating Tip #10 – Go Slow

Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.

Have any dating questions? Get all the answers you need now at Rachael West Designs.

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What To Do When A Man Withdraws

June 16, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Love is sometimes difficult to understand and men can quite often be complex creatures for women who love them. Almost every man, at one time or another, is going to withdraw from the woman he loves. There are some definite steps that you can take to draw him closer and to keep from pushing him further away. Relationship advice can be tough to follow and, quite often, amazingly enough, the thing you should do is the exact opposite of what you feel like doing.

Relationship problems are a realilty for all of us but the following will help you know what to do when a man withdraws. First and foremost, give him space. It is natural to want to call the man you love or be near him when you think he is going through a hard time. Stop. That’s right – simply stop. Men, unlike women, process their worry and anxiety differently than women. It is natural for us to think that his withdrawal is related to us and the relationship. That may be true, but not necessarily. And, even if it is, he needs time alone to overcome his fears.

Your understanding and patience will work wonders. Do not call him, do not ask him what’s wrong. Instead, get busy with your life. Get involved in some activity or activities that will take your mind off of him and your relationship. He is quite capable of dealing with his own problems without your help. Allow him to do so. He truly doesn’t need your relationship advice although you might feel desperate to give it to him. When he comes back around, and he will if you allow him his time, be open and be happy. Do not have an attitude with him as to why it took him so long to call or to start talking again. As a matter of fact, it works best if you act as if you barely noticed he was gone.

You might say something like, “It feels great to hear from you or to see you,” but you don’t want to make a big deal out of his absence. Instead, you should be filled with exciting news about your life and what has been going on. This relieves him of feeling responsible for your happiness and makes him think that being with you for the long haul would be light and easy, not dramatic and tough.

Relationship problems are not something that a man wants to discuss so don’t do so unless you have no other recourse. Many women often wonder how long they have to wait for their man to get over his withdrawal. Unfortunately, every man is different. The decision is really totally up to you. His withdrawal may last a few days or it could last a few months. Since you are not putting your life on hold, it really doesn’t matter how long it takes him.

My last words of love and relationship advice are to always remember that as long as you keep stepping toward him, he will keep moving back. If you instead step back and create the space needed for him to step forward, he will do just that.

And most of all, remember, everyone has relationship problems.   It’s how you choose to address those problems that will keep your relationship moving forward.

Have any dating questions? Get all the answers you need now at Rachael West Designs.

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Getting Out of a Slump

June 6, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Have you been through a rough patch? Do you want to make your boyfriend fall in love with you all over again? Do you want him to go crazy over you? If so, this is the most important page you’ll ever read. I strongly urge you to pay close attention and read every word of this page. You are about to discover the sure fire tips to getting over a slump and making your boyfriend fall in love with you all over again…

Here are the sure fire tips to getting out of a slump and make your boyfriend fall in love with you…

Be In The Moment – Your relationship can have real intimacy only if both of you are in the present and enjoy the moment. If you are thinking about the past or the future(commitment), you are suffering because you are burning emotional energy on the uncontrollable. You need to let go and focus on the present moment. When you are in the room, be in the room and share things. Don’t think of something else or don’t get self conscious. Enjoy the moment. It will make him lighten up and be downright honest with you.

Be Honest – Being honest in a relationship really helps. A man loves a woman who is completely honest to him and always tells the truth. This will get him to be honest with you and love you even more deeply. And also make sure that you are honest with your compliments. Many women lie in order to get their boyfriends approval. Trust me, doing this thing will only screw up your relationship further. Men may not be able to see the truth right away but eventually they do. And when they do, they might never come back to you. So always be honest.

Appreciate Him – Every man loves to be appreciated by the woman he loves. Your man will never leave if you appreciate him. For men, appreciation from a woman lets them know that they are keeping her happy. Your man wants to know that he is keeping you happy. Stop trying to boss him around in the relationship and let him do this own thing.

He will definitely treat you well in order to get your appreciation. There are lots of things you can do to let him know that you appreciate him. You can take him to the game, buy him a gift or give him some nice massages. Doing things like cooking his favorite food is also something he will find attractive and it will make him love you deeply. Release your maternal side and let him know that you love him deeply.

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Your Mister Right or Mister Right Now?

May 24, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

So how do we tell the difference between just old-fashioned sexual attraction and lust and that special something that I at least imagine you get when you meet the one. Maybe it is a bolt of lightening, some people claim it is just like that.

But what if we never meet our other half? Are we destined to be alone or in doomed relationships for the rest of our lives? That does not really seem very fair does it? What if my one lives in Australia and I live in the UK how will I ever meet him? I like to believe, as the hopeless romantic I am that there would be a way for us to meet. Because it is our destiny.

What if there is more than one? The one could actually be the four or the several. We all change at different times during our lives. The person you are at eighteen is very different from the twenty five year old and then from the forty year old and at fifty and sixty. We change throughout our lives; our experiences change us and make us evolve.

You may meet someone at twenty, but out grow each other by the time you are thirty. It does not mean the relationship was not right then because it is not now. What you want now may be very different to what you wanted then. Couples grow apart, and in different ways. Someone you may not have even looked at or got on with twenty years ago is your soul mate now. It is not so much Mr Right as Mr Right now.

So when you meet your soul mate or mates will it be just perfect? Will you never argue or get annoyed with each other/and want to paint the walls the same color? Well if that was the case nobody I know is with their soul mate because all couples argue. It is normal.

If you are looking for the perfect relationship with the perfect partner you will be alone for a very long time. It just does not exist. Are you throwing away perfectly good relationships for no good reason except they are not perfect? Some people spend their whole lives looking for something that does not exist. It is like looking for your perfect house. It might have the elements you want but there is always something missing or it is in the wrong location, or it is too expensive. You have to compromise somewhere.

When looking for a partner a lot of us forget that we are all only human. We all have faults, strange little ways and bad moods. We expect others to overlook ours.

I am not saying just except any old relationship. We all need to choose our life partner carefully, but we know the difference between something that just is not working and just picking holes and finding problems where there really are none.

There are many things you will look into in your relationships. Get all the dating advice you need now with the help of Rachael West Designs.

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Finding True Love on the Internet

May 20, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

First of all, it is very possible to find your soul mate in cyberspace. Those who say otherwise have other not tried it or not tried it the right way.

The secret is how to ‘putting yourself out’ there. With this medium you need maximum exposure in the right cyberspace circles. You need to think about what type of person you are looking for.

For example, if you are very young Facebook and the like will still be acceptable ways to find the one. Stage 2 and 3 will be the same for all ages. During stage one, if you are a bit more mature and hopefully quite selective, you truly need to sit down and focus on what you seek, the type of woman or man you want to date and hopefully spend your life with. If it’s a serious, intelligent, reflective, sensitive human being you are looking for, then need to focus on media or matching sites which allow you to express yourself fully, who you are, in many ways and in all your facets, and of course allow the other person to do the same.

It is extremely tempting to seek the photos of those we particularly like and exclude the rest. If both of you do this you will end up dating many people who are unsuitable, and then you’ll conclude that this medium does not work. To make it work, you need to expose and convey who you really are, your hopes, your dreams, the way you like to live, your fears even, so that the person who is considering contacting you can have a good idea of the person you are before you meet.

Of course there must be some chemistry but you can’t really base it on a photograph, no matter how pretty or handsome the other person seems to be. Chemistry is based on so many intangibles (as well as psychological triggers), that you can’t really base anything on a flat photo.

Some people like to date immediately in real life and others like to get to know those they are talking to before committing to a date. I prefer the latter as a better way to actually avoid a chain of incompatible dates. However, avoid the traps of falling for a married person who’s posing as single, for example. The best way to avoid this is to make sure you can call them on their land line (not only at work or on the cell) and that you can choose when to call them. Be suspicious of someone who seems to be available only at 11pm, for example.

When I was using this medium to find my soul mate I never had problems. I could easily weed out the ‘crazies’ or the time-wasters, or the married ones. The key lay in how I presented myself. My profile was long, detailed; mostly about my life dreams and what I really enjoyed (avoid a laundry list of likes and dislikes, that’s just boring). That way anybody who wasn’t serious about finding a soul mate would go elsewhere.

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Leaving the Baggage With the Past

May 19, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

When you’re getting into a new relationship, how you deal with your baggage will play a crucial part in how your new love will go. If you can’t get over all of the things that have happened to you in your past, you’ll have a future that is not as bright as it could be. And while it may not solve all of your issues, just knowing that you’re not alone when it comes to having baggage should offer some comfort. Here are some ways to put your baggage away for good:

The past is the past. You can’t change what’s happened to you in your past. All you can control is how you think about it now, and whether or not you are dealing with it in a healthy manner. You can’t look forward to the future if you are always turned around looking at the past.

Keep things in perspective. If some truly traumatic things have happened to you in your life, and you have yet to seek out professional help, you should do so. However, if you are hung up on things that are not so severe, you need to let them go. Chances are your baggage isn’t so amazingly horrendous. If someone were to look at it objectively they’d probably tell you that you’re making something out of nothing.

Many relationships suck. It’s no big deal that you were in a lousy relationship. It happens all the time, every day. It’s not an exclusive club, and chances are the person you are starting out with in your new relationship probably has some horror stories from their last relationship too. Just because there are a ton of bad relationships, you should not give up on finding a great one. They are out there, and you’ll never find it if you just throw your hands in the air and give up.

Learn the lesson. Life will keep repeating lessons until you learn them. If you have a bad pattern of picking the wrong mate, you will keep repeating that pattern until you learn to make better choices. Part of having baggage means that you’ve learned some lessons on relationships and what makes people tick. Learn from your baggage, and let it guide you to a more fulfilling time with your next partner.

Baggage is boring. No one wants to hear your baggage story. They really don’t. They might fake as if they are interested, but really they are not. Don’t bore everyone with your pseudo sob stories. Take up kick-boxing, or yoga, or jogging if you still feel the need to get out your frustrations or vent your anger. This is a healthy way of dealing with your issues and saves everyone from the torture of hearing all about your baggage.

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Playing Hard to Get… and Getting What You Want

May 18, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

So have you finally met that guy who takes your breath away with his mere presence? Are having trouble getting him to notice you? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to have a legitimate relationship with him? If you are serious about want to get with a guy, then the best technique for you to use is playing hard to get. Women have been using this technique for decades and it is still as effective today as it was back then. Keep reading to how to play hard to get and why it is so effective.

Understanding that playing hard to get is not mean

If you are a nice girl by nature, then you might be a little hesitant about playing hard to get. It might come off as either mean or dishonest to you, but you need to get those notions out of your head. Playing hard to get is not mean. If it were mean then why would men love it when girls give them a little challenge? Guys don’t want girls who are going to faint just at the sound of their voice. They want to exercise their social skills to try to dazzle a girl who seems to have no interest.

Play hard to get

There is three parts to playing hard to get. First, he should never know what is going on in your head. Nothing is more frustrating or exciting to a guy then when he has no clue what so ever how a girl feels about him. Second is that you show just enough interest for him to keep coming back, but not enough for him to know how much you truly like him. Men love a challenge, and their favorite challenge of all is trying to win the heart of a girl. The harder he has to work to get you, the more he will appreciate you when you finally give in. The finally step to playing hard to get is giving him mixed signals. Nothing will drive him more insane than a girl who seems totally interest one day and does not give a flip the next day.

Work on your timing

Timing is very important when you are playing hard to get. If you wait too long, he might lose interest and decide to pursue someone who is not so much of a hassle. If you give in to early then he will not get to fully appreciate your worth. You have to decide when is the perfect time to stop playing mind games with him and make the relationship more serious.

Keep him clueless

As mentioned before, keeping him clueless is a big part of playing hard to get. Since he has no idea how you feel about him, he will actually have to go out on a limb if he wants to win you. If he is willing to go through to that extent, then you can be sure that playing hard to get was a complete success. Do not let him know what you are thinking, and it will give you the perfect opportunity to get into his mind and see what he is thinking.

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Personal Boundaries for Your Relationship

May 17, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Relationships can be a difficult thing between two people, whether it is a healthy relationship or not. Each individual will develop their own standards that they expect their partner to understand and abide by within the relationship to help it prosper. Each individual’s standards will be different, but in the end it will always come down to mutual respect.

When you think about every relationship you’ve been in, every single one is different. Relationships are not only those with an intimate partner though, it is relationships with colleagues, friends, family, acquaintances and just about every person that comes into your life. Each relationship will have their own expectations and standards that you will want to understand to continue a great relationship with the other people. Your tolerance levels will be different with everyone, especially when you think of the standards you have with a loved one compared to someone you may work with.

As you develop stronger relationships with others you will see that more standards are brought into play. You want to have personal boundaries with everyone, and the people in your life should agree to these personal boundaries just as you would to theirs. This will help develop a stronger relationship, imposing great trust and respect between everyone. When you don’t have your own personal boundaries people will be more likely to overstep your comfort zone and in the end a relationship could wither away.

Everyone has come across this kind of person, the one that does whatever others tell them to. They are the kind of people afraid to leverage themselves and put a stop to the breaking of personal boundaries. They often complain about others taking advantage of them, especially within romantic relationships. The fear to confront the other party about their own unhappiness leaves they stuck in an unhealthy relationship that is slowly becoming an issue. By enforcing your own personal boundaries you can avoid this from happening. People see your strength and know that you are not someone that is easily controlled. Personal boundaries are needed in every aspect of your life, especially in intimate relationships.

Have you ever felt like there is that one individual in your life that is constantly pushing your boundaries? Trust me we all have that one individual. These are the kind of people that limit their beliefs in respecting others and want everyone to focus on their life. You are guaranteed seeing more and more of these people the older you get. You can avoid these people ever having any unwanted affect on your life by simply letting them be aware that you are not breakable, your personal boundaries are strong and not budging. They’ll quickly back off and respect you.

A persons personal boundaries are generally visible by their actual self esteem. When you have a great self esteem people notice it. You aren’t someone that tolerates the belligerent doings of others and keeps your distance to those that are able to strengthen not only your self esteem but theirs as well. Even though everyone has their own personal boundaries those that get along are those that have a high understanding of their own and others. If someone understands your limits and you understand theirs a great relationship is bound to develop.

Don’t find yourself interchanging your personal boundaries to match others. Be yourself! No one is worth changing who you are to satisfy who they are. A great relationship doesn’t require you to change, it requires you to be you for the good and the bad. Your values and sense of self worth means much more then anybody else’s towards you.

Do you have a lot of dating questions? Don’t know where to get them answered? Get your dating questions answered right here at Rachael West Designs!

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Non Listeners – How to Deal with Them

May 14, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

People that don’t listen can sometimes be the most irritating type of people to interact with. However, sometimes we have something important to say so we need to know how to deal with people that don’t listen.

Many of these people feel they have all the answers and that others haven’t experienced what they have. There are also those who will ask for advice but don’t listen and use it. How about those ones who do all the talking and you can’t get a word in edgewise? And then there are those who say they are listening, but for medical reasons can’t really hear everything you are saying. These are the basic types of people who don’t listen.

Fortunately, there are some things you can do to learn how to deal with people that don’t listen.

Gain Their Attention

Many people who don’t listen are preoccupied with other thoughts or on what’s going on around them. Some people are very easily distracted by what’s going on around them, or what is floating around in their heads: so much so that they can’t totally focus on what you need to say to them. Situations like these can be extremely frustrating, especially when what you have to say is very important to you.

But here are some things to think about.

The environmental issues are fairly easy to control in gaining the attention of someone who might be easily distracted from listening to you. Environmental issues can include people, noises, or any other sensory attraction that will distract that person from listening to you.

It can be very frustrating to talk to someone about something serious when they are being distracted by the outside world. If you have to, invite them into a less distracting area to help them listen to you.

There are also those who are hearing impaired, but try to pretend that they are hearing every word you are saying. The middle aged male with hearing problems is particularly susceptible to this type of not listening.

If you suspect you are talking with a hearing impaired person you can verify that by asking them to repeat what you said. However, this kind of verification needs to be done in a respectful and courteous manner so you don’t offend the person who is not listening.

Thinking Distractions

There are also those people who are distracted from listening because of their own thoughts. These people are fairly easy to identify because there is always a kind of blank look on their face as you are talking to them.

Talking to someone with a blank in their face is a clear indication they are not listening to you. But gaining the attention of someone who is not listening because their mind is somewhere else can be a little more complex to deal with.

You can try asking them if this is a bad time to talk with them, as they seem distracted. Then, if they want to talk about what is on their mind, let them, as that may free them up to listen to you.

There are only two reasons for that blank, not listening, stare when you are talking to someone.

One, they have become bored with the conversation, for which the remedy is to change the topic of the conversation, as quickly as possible.

The second reason for the blank stare is that the person you are talking to just does not really care about what you have to say, in which case you move on to better conversational ground.

Anyone who is not interested in anything you have to say is not worth the waste of your energy when there are so many other meeting and conversational opportunities available.

Knowing how to deal with people who do not listen can be frustrating and we all have to deal with them at one time or other throughout our life. The trick is to deal with them effectively, helpfully if we can.

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Reveal Who You Are with Your Relationship

May 13, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

We have often heard the old proverb “birds of a feather flock together”. While this idea was around even before psychology became a subject, George Mead was one of the first social thinkers to propose a theory of the “self”. The basic idea was that the individual existed only in the context of a group. Ironically, we become individuals through our relationships with others. There are those who are close to us (significant others) and the faint acquaintances and strangers (generalized others).

Our relationships with our significant others tend to satisfy our needs more than our relationships with anyone outside of that group. The opinions and attitudes of our in-group tend to have a greater impact on us. Within the significant others, an intimate romantic relationship is typically at the apex. People expect to have the majority of their needs fulfilled in such relationships.

Intimate relationships tend to reveal who we are by reflecting our deepest fears, needs and desires. As a relationship grows in intimacy, it reflects our innermost realm increasingly. Relationships thus act as mirrors by facilitating greater self-understanding. Even from the outset, the type of people we seek as life partners reveal a great deal about our preferences, priorities and values. Then during the relationship, how we respond to and treat our partners would be determined by how developed and assured we are.

The process of projection is critical to understanding why relationships act as clear mirrors. When we project our feelings and desires onto another person, we tend to interpret that persons actions or behavior in light of our latent needs. Dr. Gary Smalley discussed this at length in “The DNA of relationships”. Our feelings – about what our partner does or who our partner is should be fully-owned by us.

We should not blame our partner for how we feel. Our partner cannot make us angry, disappointed or hurt. This may seem difficult to understand at first, but it is reality. How we respond to our partners – and their behavior or actions – is based on who we are. If we are constantly feeling negative emotions, it reflects that some our needs or expectations are not being met. Anger, for example, is viewed as a secondary emotion. The initial emotion tends to be fear or hurt. Anger is a defense mechanism such that when we are angry, it reveals more about ourselves than the stimulus that makes us angry.

The interaction we have with our partners are typically relate to needs, known or unknown, which are being met or left unfulfilled. Initially, the type of partners we seek, tend to reflect our personal values and priorities. We tend to seek the qualities that we believe would help us to meet those needs, make us content or complete us.

Sometimes, we get caught in a blame game that does not allow us to realize our own contribution to relationship problems. We blame the other person and claim that the other person is “too needy” or “too demanding” for example. We fail to acknowledge the fact that the partner may not be perceived as such in a previous or future intimate relationship with someone else. Since we cannot remove ourselves completely from the picture, it is logical to conclude that much of what occurs in an intimate relationship is, at the very least, a part-reflection of ourselves.

If we continue to grant power to our significant others, they would continue to reflect the aspects of ourselves that we don’t like or wish not to be reminded of. Only when we reclaim this power, something Dr. Gary Smalley refers to as the “Power of One”, we would be less bothered by the things that our partner may do (unless what your partner does is fundamentally insidious). The undeniable fact is that our selection process and relationship-handling abilities reveal a lot about the hidden or innermost aspects of ourselves.

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