You are here: Home / Archives for Advice

When to Take Relationship Advice

November 18, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

According to the social media, your relationship is probably in dire need of help.  If you listened to every Twitter update, Facebook post and blog update you would be in constant need of relationship rescue. The real question is when does your relationship need advice?  If your in a relationship for the first time  you probably feel that your every move is subject to speculation. If your a veteran of a relationship you probably don’t pay attention to outside influences. There is a happy medium some where in the middle. But just when is it that you take relationship advice?

The Rut

When your relationship starts to get into a rut it can be time to seek out some advice. Not knowing how to add some spice into relationship can be good cause for some suggestion. It never hurts to ask around for some ideas. A rut in a relationship can make for some tense and awkward alone time so trying to find a way to alleviate that can certainly help. Every relationship has whats called a “dry spell”. Wanting to find someone to help with this is a natural reaction, so seek some advice.

The Commitment

More than once in a relationship the topic of commitment has come into question. Needing to ask someone if your relationship has commitment issues, or how  to deal with it if it does is a well deserved reason for some advice. Commitment issues can be a very touchy subject in some relationships and needing to get a second opinion on the situation is justifiable. Sometimes, no matter the length of the relationship, it still can help to have some advice.

The Break Up

While it is a very personal decision to break up with the person your in a relationship with, it may help to talk it over with someone first. It may be that you are finding yourself wondering should you or shouldn’t you? Are perhaps seeing things unclearly, or maybe you have misread a situation which has lead to a bad reaction. Before you go ahead and break up with someone it may be better if you talk it over with someone else. This is an appropriate time to ask someone for their advice on the situation as you may need the moral support.

Asking for advice on your relationship can happen whatever the circumstance. The idea is not to constantly keep your relationship in the gossip circuit, but to ask for advice from a trusted source to help when you need it. Asking anyone for advice is probably not the best way to keep the respect in your relationship either. Try talking to someone who has some experience in the situation or even someone that you trust. As long as you are comfortable discussing your relationship it should make the process easier when asking for advice. Also make sure your partner is aware that your are seeking advice, otherwise this may be cause for a whole new problem.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With ,

Dating Tips And Advice For Singles

June 23, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Every year millions of people are entering the dating scene, whether they’ve experienced it before or not. It can be quite nerve racking when you are new to dating, but it is something everyone can enjoy. There is no such thing as a dating expert, no matter what you hear. Every single person will struggle at some point in their life with relationships and dating. Dating is a continuous dating experience, good and bad experiences. There are many things you can learn along the way. Nows your chance to get a little extra knowledge within the dating scene, continue reading to get some dating advice and tips.

Make Dating Easy and Fun

One thing people always seem to forget is that dating can be easy and fun if you want it to be. You don’t have to stress out any longer. There are many things you are going to learn while trying to enter into the dating scene including:

  • How to attract people you want to attract
  • How to bloom the initial chemistry into a relationship
  • How to not limit yourself

Honestly, there isn’t any formulas or fail proof tricks and don’t think you are going to find a way to trap that Mr. or Miss Right. There are some facts you will want to be aware of along the way. With the vast amount of dating tips available online and through others, you never know what is true, what is false and what is down right ridiculous. In the end every individual takes on dating in their own personal way, making everyone’s advice difficult to reflect on every dater. There are however some universal tips that could help benefit you with dating. Dating can be easy and lots of fun if you take it with the right grasp and are prepared for not only success, but unsuccessful dating experiences. Keep your mind open to all possibilities.

Dating Tips

Dating Tip #1 – Get Prepared for Dating

If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won’t work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.

Dating Tip #2 – Get Your Act Together

Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.

Dating Tip #3 – Go Shopping

Treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.

Dating Tip #4 – Think of the Gain

Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don’t take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

Dating Tip #5 – Surround Yourself with Support

Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

Dating Tip #6 – Find the Right Match

Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

Dating Tip #7 – Join Up

Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups — anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.

Dating Tip #8 – Take a Break

Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

Dating Tip #9 – Enjoy Yourself

Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

Dating Tip #10 – Go Slow

Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.

Have any dating questions? Get all the answers you need now at Rachael West Designs.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , ,

Relationship Advice for Those Who are Breaking Up

April 15, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Relationship advice for those who are breaking up is still useful for getting a marriage back together.   It should be known, however, that when both want to recapture the relationship it is an easier process.   Most often a relationship can be saved even when there is infidelity.   But it is more difficult to save marriages that are falling apart when the wife has become involved with another man then the other way around.

Women rarely have a purely sexual fling, despite what you may have gathered from watching too much television or reading romance novels.  Women are creatures of the heart who typically only stray when they are feeling unappreciated, unloved and unappealing to their husbands.   If you are a man whose wife is in an affair no amount of preaching or expressions of reason will reach her.

She (generalizations may not apply to your case but do to most) has been hurt very deeply and does not feel there is any hope.   This does not mean a man should not try to win his wife back.   But it does mean that mere words will not work.   In most cases a wife who comes back will stay, but she should never be condemned for what she did.   In fact, she should be praised for her love and loyalty re-expressed by coming back.

It is widely known that women are not understood by men, or indeed, by other women.   But the effort a husband makes to please his wife and convince her to come back is well worth it.   No man should consider himself vindicated by his wife’s possible refusal to come home.   He should never allow anyone to speak badly of his wife even if she never comes back.   It would be nobler for a man to blame himself, regardless of the circumstances, if his wife leaves him. When a man has an affair it is typically much easier for him to end it because his psycho-physiological needs are much simpler and an astute wife knows just what she needs to do in order to recapture her husband’s heart.

Most women, when faced with the loss of their husband become very intelligent and win him back.   Some, who put pride ahead of practicality, sacrifice their children’s lives as well as their own in order to prove a point.

The intentional harshness of the above is meant to illustrate the most important point of all:   Regardless of what has taken place in the past every marital relationship could and should be restarted, leaving the past behind. There are no victims in a reconstituted marriage but there are nothing but victims in divorce.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , ,

Honeymooner Advice: Making Those First Days Easier

March 31, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Most newlyweds these days go on their honeymoon in order to celebrate the beginning of their new family. It is a wondrous occasion and this simple relationship advice will help you celebrate and remember it. Keep in mind this is too important a beginning to be like any other vacation you’ll ever have. Remember, your honeymoon needs to stand out in your lives as a spiritual event unlike a typical vacation.

Do you want to come home from your honeymoon to talk about how drunk you got? Or do you want to remember how much you lost at the gaming tables? Or would you rather remember your honeymoon as the time you connected deeper and more meaningfully than you ever had? Use it as the foundational event from which the depth of your relationship will grow and inspire.

Rather than just indulging in the physical aspects so commonly associated with honeymoons, embrace your new spouse from your heart. Practice soul enhancing techniques of lovemaking that you will feel at your very core. Hold each other, look into each other’s eyes, look into each other’s souls and internally promise you will be there for them and your future family without judgment or reservation.

Enjoy your honeymoon in the highest way and feel the shower of love that blesses you, your future family and your happy marriage. Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn’t work.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , ,

Preventing Middle Age Weight Gain

March 25, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Middle age is a very transitional time ; the kids are older and maybe even out of the house and your life has slowed down considerably. Your career and professional goals are being met and what you life consists of now is not what it used to be which can a mental and physical role in how you gain weight. A slower pace may be nice, but this isn’t the time to decrease your physical activity or start eating unhealthy foods it can lead to rapid obesity. Obesity in middle age leads to chronic health problems like cardiovascular disease and diabetes which during middle age, can be accompanied by several complications. 

There is plenty of research on how to lose weight and keep it off; however, trying to pinpoint the amount of physical activity needed to prevent weight gain over time, without calorie restriction is a difficult formula to figure out. For women who have lost weight and are trying to maintain the loss may even have to put in a few more minutes a day than do normal-weight women who are just trying not to gain as they age. Keeping a normal body weight is hard work; it requires a sincere effort and a lot of determination. Aging requires more physical activity to maintain your current weight. As we age, our basal metabolic rate goes down. To keep our bodies burning calories, we need to increase our activity levels.

As middle age approaches, the recommended 30 minutes of daily physical activity is no longer sufficient to burn off those extra calories. This can  be exceedingly challenging in middle age as the types of  activities suitable are not what most choose to stay active. Experts recommend an increase of physical activity from what you are used to. Increasing to  60 to 80 minutes per day is best fpr maximum benefit. Once children leave the nest, the corresponding activity levels decrease as well.  No longer having chasing kids around or  the extra chores associated with it can cut down your activity level drastically.

 A great way to test your activity leve is by purchase a pedometer to wear for an approximation of how much walking you get done in a normal day . 10,000 steps should be your goal, if your goal is not met to you need to increase your activity level. Some moderate exercises to increase your exercise level will  include:

  • brisk walking
  • bicycling
  • golfing
  • ballroom dancing
  • swimming

If you perform more strenuous activities, such as jogging or swimming, you should be able to get by with 30 minutes per day. Of course these activites may not be for everyone, or depending on your current medical condition, this might dictate how much and how often you can exercise. Be sure your schedule is regular; continuous interruptions in an exercise routine can get you off track and hamper any progress you may have made. Middle age doesn’t have to mean extra weight you can take preventative measures against it. By meeting the problem head-on and addressing it properly, you’ll stay slim and toned throughout your middle years and well into your golden years.

Filed Under Health Tagged With ,

Find Happiness Together for Your Relationship

March 24, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Love is in the air when it comes to programming on television, articles in the magazines that we read, and the radio shows that we listen to; it seems that everywhere we turn talk is focused on ill-fated couples and the secrets to make a relationship last. But when it comes to the true ideals on which happy unions are based, there is some relationship advice that bears following.

First and foremost, as any happy couple will tell you, communication is the key to success in a relationship. That is why, as is so often the case, relationship advice will focus on the best ways to communicate with each other. So many times, couples come into a relationship with a whole set of baggage brought from their upbringing as children or from previous relationships. What defines communication for one partner may not even scratch the surface for another. Many couples will often turn to professional counseling in order to follow this relationship advice; learning how to redefine communication and meet each other’s needs so that each person feels respected and heard.

As trust is also such an essential ingredient in happy partnerships, you will often hear relationship advice focused on blazing new trails of trust in your relationship. Even if there has been no infidelity in your own relationship, some partners will bring past betrayals with them into this new environment. Or perhaps, a lack of trust has more to do with a partner’s own insecurity than the trustworthiness of their partner. In any case, a lack of trust almost always spells disaster to a relationship. It is essential, therefore, to follow this relationship advice to find mutual trust and respect in your partnership, such respect and trust will invariably pay off in security and happiness.

In terms of relationship advice, experts also agree that time spent with each other equates to unbreakable bonds of friendship. And therein lays the secret to a great relationship, friendship. Physical intimacy is great and an important component in any relationship but without friendship, deep and abiding friendship, the relationship will most likely not survive.

Spend time together, plenty of quality alone time, and get to know each other over and over again; that is the greatest relationship advice that you will ever receive. Relationship advice can be found on practically every corner. But what truly matters and what will translate to success and happiness in your own relationship, are the things that are important to you as individuals and as a couple.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , , , , ,

Tips of Advice for Your Wedding

March 24, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

After months of preparations the time has arrived for your wedding. So many preparations have been made in order for this day to come , so many little details put into place to make it perfect. There are so many aspects of making a wedding a perfect come together that some tips to make sure all the bases are covered can help.

From the oneset of engagment, your planning begins.  Many women have been planning long before that. With many dreams and ideas already forming, by the time the engamgent takes place, the planning is in motion. Even for engagements that have no set date, some venues or location must be booked well in advance. Since most aspects of wedding planning is time sensitive , couples have to plan a year ahead.

Planning in advance as much as possible allows for the most organization which prevents any detail going unnoticed. Advanced planning also allows for peace of mind. The couple who begins to plan will ensure they get their  desired venues, caters and anything else since the timing will be met. Peace of mind  for a couple planning a wedding is much needed. The added stress of  miscommunication and time constraints from poor planning only serve to make the event more stressful. Timing is everything. 

Budgeting  is what will keep your wedding on track. If your planning a wedding set out to plan a budget for it as well. This can be done by looking at  total income, deciding who will be paying for what items or if it is a collective arrangement and allotting certain funds to specific purchases. A great way to get a ahead when your discussing budget is to establish a “wedding fund”. Good financial planning can also alleviate mounting stress and cost confusion. Know who is paying for what, and also what your will to spend on service and wedding items. Only drawing out of your wedding fund will avoid shortfalls and over spending.

When it comes to reservations, timing will mean everything as this may dictate your location . The  bookings of your wedding such as transportation, venues and even caterers can be extremely difficutl to co ordinate . Allowing ample time to get this coordinating accomplished can allieviate any undue stress.

A wedding checklist can be a resourceful tool to help in all this planning an organization. Wedding guides display all that the couple needs to do in order to make their wedding day complete, and can also point out some things you may have otherwise missed. Items that require guidance and time lines are included in this checklist to guide the couple along the way. This really assists a couple in getting their schedule and completeing  everything on time.

Scheduling is perhaps the  key to a successful wedding. Accomplishing all the tasks in your checklist on time will bring the couple a successful outcome avoiding stress. Memories of your wedding day should be focused on the love and happiness of it, not the hectic last minute planning.  Seeking out wedding advice on the onset of your engagement will get your started in the right direction. Weddings are an important day so make it that special day you’ll remember forever.

Filed Under Wedding Tagged With , ,

Marriage Relationship Advice

March 23, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Marriage is a sacred union, and it can take a lot of work to keep that union. Unfortunately a lot of marriages end because the effort that’s needed in order to stay together happily. That’s why couples visiting marriage counselors for marriage relationship advice is so common these days. You don’t have to pay money for a counselor to resolve your marriage problems, though.

If both you and your spouse would look at each other yourselves and examine how you’ve been handling each other, you just may be able to come out from the rough spots happier than you ever were before. Learn to compromise with your spouse on whatever you possibly can and try not to start arguments. You may have met them halfway on a lot of things before, but sometimes you need to go further than halfway to meet their cooperation. You may not think it’s fair, but consider if you’ve ever made them meet you more than halfway before.

Marriage is more about sacrifice than just being in a relationship is and both sides need to understand that they’re in it for both of them, not just themselves. But some things are worse than just a lack of effort. If your spouse did something awful like cheat on you, you need to seriously weigh your options. Is staying with them worth the hurt of that kind of betrayal? You need to seriously consider whether that kind of pain is worth the bits of happiness.

Don’t stay with your cheating spouse because you love them — how could their love even compare with yours if they’re lying and betraying your trust by cheating on you? If you are the cheating spouse, you need to consider whether you really want to stay with your husband or wife or not. A cheating spouse hears this type of marriage relationship advice all the time, but its sound to ask yourself: Why did I do this? If your spouse is not making you feel loved enough or is not satisfying your sexual needs, it is probably better that you break it off than drag it out and continue to strain and hurt you both.

There are lots of things to consider before getting married, and if you’re thinking about it take this bit of marriage relationship advice to heart: If you’re not willing to work for the well being of two people instead of one, maybe marriage isn’t the right thing for you right now.

The divorce rate is at an all time high because people get married before actually thinking about what marriage really is: A team effort. Whether you’re married right now or are thinking about popping the question, keep in mind that it’s not the walk in the park that movies and TV make it seem like.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , , , , , ,

Managing a Relationship During the Recession

March 23, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

The destabilization of our current economy is the result of selfishness and greed.   A huge number of people participated in what turned out to be a drunken party.   Now that it is over, it is time to clean up and start again.   I feel deeply for all who will suffer and offer this relationship advice to aid your family during these times.

Your family is a blessing.   Appreciate all of the wonderful qualities of your spouse and your children.   Don’t take them for granted anymore.   It is so easy to recognize the flaws in others, especially those who we are closest to.   That is one of the great traps of life.   Your mind, your own mind, can be very troublesome as it is filled with all sorts of thoughts and feelings that never seem to get sorted out.

Far too many people merely run from the chaos of their mind (through alcohol or medication) without realizing they have the innate ability to control it.   The mind can torture you or it can be your best friend, but only after you have conquered it and placed it under your own control. Control your mind by not blaming, not criticizing and not taking things so seriously.

Proactively love your spouse with loving actions and loving thoughts.   Yes you can!  It is your mind!  As soon as you see a thought or feeling that is anything but positive, crowd it out with thoughts and feelings that are more desirable.   Don’t you realize how much power you have?

When you control your mind you control everything. When I asked my father how he was able to survive concentration camp he said to me, “I never gave up. ” I am blessed with the ability to compare my own economic trials with my father’s loss of his family, his country and his entire life up to that point.   Keep things in perspective. Realize how much you have and how much better your life will be by appreciating your spouse and giving them nothing but love.   The current situation will pass, but the love you give will fill you forever.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , ,

Best Online Relationship Advice

March 22, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

When you are on the hunt for relationship advice you are guaranteed going to encounter many different suggestions which can make it difficult to know where to turn to. This not only can complicate your mind, but make you go with the wrong advice. Over the past few years many more people are turning towards the Internet for relationship advice and seem to be having great results with what they are finding. If you’re someone who has great experience doing this, congratulations.

Perhaps you are in the middle of a difficult relationship right now whether already married or still dating.   People tend to get a lot of advice from many different  sources, solicited or otherwise, some good, others totally useless and downright harmful.   You can actually get the same type of relationship advice online as well.   Some suggestions can really turn a problematic relationship around, or get you out of one that is not working out for you.

On the other hand, there could also be some really bad advice that could even breakup a relationship instead of repairing it. If you have the financial capability, going to marriage counselors or therapist can get you good professional advice, but not necessarily the best results.  It may help you and your partner express yourselves a little more easily, but could also bring up many other issues along the way.

Family and friends can also be good sources of advice since they are privy to your circumstances but their judgment may be tinted with biases.   At times, it would be good to get relationship tips from third parties who do not know you personally because they might be able to provide you with more unprejudiced answers. For this, you can try to go online and get relationship advice where you can talk to someone 24 x 7.

There may be some events that recently happened between you and your partner that could possibly cause a separation and you want to get some advice pronto to avert the possible breakup.   People manning these relationship advice online services are authorities on relationship and have authored a number of articles relevant to your condition.   Some online counselors may perhaps  be even agreeable to assist you. Oftentimes, you have personal questions that you feel are too delicate to discuss with your family and friends.   Going online for advice is a great solution to this since you can remain anonymous.

Divulging personal information or your real identity is not necessary to seek advice online. Unattached individuals who have been wishing to find a partner will discover that finding him/her through the dating advice online is possible.   There are internet sites that also give this service.   A lot of people have successfully found mates through this media.   If you are seriously considering this method to find your special someone, you should use a reputable service provider which carefully screens those wanting to register for membership for possible relationships.

Seeking relationship advice online could be a fresh and effective way of finding answers to your relationship problems. However, you should not treat it as your ultimate source of advice.   All the other suggestions and options presented to you from other sources should be carefully weighed.   But more importantly, listen to your heart deeply because oftentimes, what our minds cannot perceive, our hearts clearly can. You are the only person that knows what’s right for you, so don’t depend on others to make your choice, even if it sounds like the right one.

Filed Under Dating Tagged With , , , ,
« Older Posts