Marriage is one of the hardest relationships to maintain. Not surprisingly when that relationship ends, your left barely with your head above water. Ending your marriage is the end of a chapter in your life which needs to be mourned. Grieving the loss of your marriage is a natural and healthy part of the process to closure. How long you grieve is the question you need to establish. You may want to give your relationship it’s “dues” but after that if your not interested in moving on, has it become your own personal hang up?
Let’s Do Some Math
There is no specific formula to calculate the length of your relationship, minus the time that was rocky, equals how long you have to wait before you date. Your relationship ended. Period. The only relevance the length of your marriage has is how much “history” you have to put behind you. This can be the hurdle that leaves you questioning your loyalty to the relationship that has passed.
Is There Any One Else to Consider
Knowing when to date may have something to do with if there are children to think about in this equation. Taking other peoples feelings into consideration can slow down the process of getting “back into the saddle.” This can be an especially difficult situation to navigate if you have to take into account how other people in your life would deal with this new inclusion. Your children shouldn’t dictate the course your life takes, but what is best for them must be paramount in your decisions.
Have You Said Good Bye
It is important to be able to move on only if you taken the time to say good bye. Trying to date without taking the time properly acknowledge your previous relationship will not help you move on in time to date. You can only proceed so far in your dating before your past will catch up with you. It is important to deal with the emotions that come on a daily that will effect any new relationship you may have. Only when you acknowledge your feelings, that may include anger and sadness will you find the closure you need to move on.
What’s It Look Like
Reaching the closure you need will look like a better you. When you are able to reflect upon your past relationship without bitterness you will know that you are headed for healing. Remember the past for what it was, without placing blame or needing to revisit the worst part of your past you will begin to look ahead. Looking ahead will open you up to meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having a new lease on your life. That is when you will know it is time to start dating after divorce.





