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The Proper Wedding Party Etiquette

October 27, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Planning a wedding takes commitment. The people you choose to stand along you should know what is expected of them in preparation for your big day. There is a certain expectation for the wedding party that is implied. However it may not be understood by all the parties involved and therefor should be brought to everyone’s attention what the proper wedding party etiquette is. Keeping your wedding party in good taste takes knowing the proper etiquette.  Not to despair, your wedding party can   still  prepare a be a memorable event  with all the traditional trimmings, it may just take a few pointers.

The key duty of any wedding party member is to lend support to the bride or groom. A bridesmaid should listen to her bride, show or feign interest in wedding planning details, and offer to help with preparations such as assembling favors, addressing invitations, and picking up her own dress. In this fast paced world, people run the risk of becoming self absorbed and perhaps unintentionally rude. To avoid this, keep your opinions light but still included in any open discussion or ideas of wedding planning.
The bride and groom have chosen you to provide the graces of your good company, and a little support. If you have been chosen as an usher, a bridesmaid, the maid of honor or the best man, feel honored as this is a compliment to the depth of your relationship. The bride and groom think highly of you, and in turn, you will be expected to perform a few basic functions that will be a world of help to the newlyweds. It may seem like more of a chore than anything, if that is the case, you shouldn’t accept the position. Otherwise proper etiquette dictates that you will provide a number of  functions as enlisted as part of the wedding party, and do so in good taste.

It’s good wedding reception etiquette for you to see to the bride’s needs (if you are the maid of honor or a bridesmaid) or to the groom’s comfort (if you are the best man or an usher). The maid of honor and bridesmaids should be on hand to help the bride with her dress when she’s ready to dance, and to offer to fetch some food or drink if she’s wilting but is busy with her guests. this may sound contrite but in full swing of the wedding ceremony and especially the reception emotions are high as well as the level of anxiety to ensure that everything goes on without a hitch. The wedding party is in place to see to it that all the little details are taken care of and the bride will be in need of help the entire time. That is the nature of an event such as this.

The best man can help with parking before the reception, with showing guests into the hall and with making sure the groom doesn’t go hungry or thirsty. Believe it or not, newlyweds are often too busy to so much as sample their own cake during the reception. It’s your job to see to it that the new couple is enjoying the wedding reception as much as the guests are.  During this event there will be the opportunity for the best man to make a speech. Keeping good etiquette says that while you may want to invoke some good laughs, the idea is not to embarrass the groom, which would in turn embarrass the new couple. Keep your speech geared to wishing the couple well in their new journey.

Of course there is a place for good humour at your wedding, however knwoing the lines of good humour and bad taste is important. The same applies to bad manners at a wedding. If your planning your wedding and are concern about the etiquette, why not purcahse a book, or create some etiquette pointers to hand out to your wedding party to ensure everyone is on the same page.
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Wedding Tipping Etiquette

March 9, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

So your getting married.  You have vendors to pay, venues to book , deposits to put down. You have a checklist for these things. Is there an etiquette checklist? Does anything really tell you what to do for tipping in the case of a  wedding? Wedding etiquette is just like any other type of etiquette when it comes to tipping.   If you are given a service, it is essential that you provide a tip to the person that is providing it to you. Weddings are no different.However if there is an issue that is not able to be rectified, the tip should be lessened or not provided. That being said so this is the source of income for the service provider.

So,  the question is ;who do you tip and who is supposed to tip them? 

Here are some general rules to help you distinguish who to tip, and in what for of payment? Is there an unwritten rule?

Tip Anyone?

The first thing to take note of is just who you should be tipping.   One rule of thumb for this is to take a look at the final bill.   Today, most of the opportunities for tips are often applied right to the final bill.   For example, in most restaurants, a large party will have gratuity added to the bill.    This  does not dictate  that is the right amount to tip (it may be too high or too low) and it does not mean that you have to pay for it at that level.

If you pay gratuity in the final bill of your service provided for your wedding, should you give a tip on top of this to the service provider?  How do you establish this? Exceptional service provided  means the  service has exceed your  expectation , then it can be appropriate to provide them with more of a tip.  If you feel that the tip is not enough, then by all means, a larger tip can and should be left to convey your satisfaction.

The Who and The How?

Knowing when to tip is just as important.and know how to tip at a wedding. During the course of your wedding planning, there will be several opportunities for you to offer tipping.

If your in doubt, review this pointers for tipping etiquette;

  • Those that include a tip already in the final bill may be the caterer, the banquet managers, waiters, bartenders, and bridal consultants.  Here, a tip is generally about 15%, but should only be provided if the service is over and beyond the standard since the gratuity is included in the bill.
  • Transportation.   You should tip the  driver for your service.   Notice in the contract if there is an amount of gratuity already listed.   If so, it is not necessary.   If not, or you receive high levels of service, a tip of 15% is appropriate.
  • Photographers, florists and musicians.   If not provided in the contract, a tip in the amount of 15% to 20% is appreciated.   Of course much more is for better service but it is all with reason.
  • Priests, Rabbis and Clergymen.   This is one tip not to be forgotten as it is not provided elsewhere.Remember donations are the only source of income for this profession.   The groom should provide a tip to be given by the best man to the official.   Commonly, this amount should not be less than $100.   While it is a donation, it should always be provided.   More should be provided if the official had to drive a long distance.
  • Civil Service.   Since there is no cost set here, it is appropriate to provide a tip of $50 to $100 for the civil servant that is providing the service.   Often, there is a suggested donation posted in these offices. Use this as your guideline.
  • Musicians and organists at the ceremony.   These services may have gratuity in the contract, so make sure that you check first.   This is only the case if you actually rent the church for use.   If not, then a tip should be provided as well.   The tip can range form $40 to $75 depending on the amount of service and the quality that is provided. This really needs to be reserved for your judgement on the day of your wedding.

Tipping should not be something that is overlooked.While everyone understands this is a stressful time , with many things to remember, this should be one of them.   If the groom can not remember to do the tipping, then the best man should step in.   It is necessary to show appreciation and follow proper etiquette for tipping at your wedding.

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