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Are You Ready for Marriage?

October 28, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Marriage may be the biggest step in life you take. Pledging your life, your love, and your commitment to someone for the rest of your life is something not entered into lightly. In today’s society, people enter into the commitment of marriage with a safety net in mind. If  it does not work out, well there is always divorce. That should not be the approach one takes towards marriage. Perhaps evaluating if your ready for marriage first will better prepare you to make the decision.

Know Your Partner

When you intend to propose to someone, make sure you know them. Just getting along with someone is never enough. Knowing a persons intimate details will give you not only an insight to who they are now, but also who they are to become. All to often when people pledge marriage, they overlook who that person is going to become. This is an important fact to consider. Look into the future when your with someone.

Change

Don’t hope they can change over time. If your with someone and your find yourself wishing that there is more about them than you would care to admit should change, don’t hope it will get better down the road. You should love a person for who they are now, knowing that’s who they will be later on. Sure, life will change, surroundings may differ but the core of a person will still be the same. Growing with someone means that your love will grow as well. This will bond that you share will only get stronger as you both grow into your older selves. You should not enter into a committed relationship with someone hoping that will not be who they are later.

Maturity

Feeling ready for marriage means a sense of maturity. You can gauge your maturity by how well you deal with arising situation. Handling “grown up” situations takes a sense of decorum, a sense of dignity, something that comes with time and maturity. If you are unable to handle the curves that life throws at you and your partner without immature responses than perhaps that will tell you that a bigger commitment such as marriage you are not ready for. Knowing how to approach certain trials and tribulations in a marriage is a delicate thing to maneuver. Childish games, hurtful name calling and tantrums are not actions of those ready to vow forever to each other. Keep this in mind when the next difficulty arises in your relationship.

None of us may never truly know if we are ready for marriage, but the best inkling that you can have is to know that when you are with that certain person, you would rather be no where else. Knowing that you have reached the point in your life when you live for someone else’s touch, voice, and embrace will tell you that you have found “it”. What  you choose to do with it, is up to you. If you know that this is the right step for you, then that is all you may really need. Marriage really is for life, it should never be entered into in vain.

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Living Happily Ever After

October 25, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Is there ever such as thing? Living happliy ever after is something we reaad in fairy tales, and don’t neccerassirly use to describe our real lives. Is it a real state of live that can be achieved, or is it something that can never be applied to real life?

Relationships can often be trying at times and we may often wonder is this it? Am I really happy? We can spend more time wondering if we actually achieved happily ever after than really actually living it. Can one person really define how you live happily ever? The bigger question is how do you know if you have reached the point that you can say you have it?

It can be supposed that this state can be open to interpretation. What constitutes happiness in a relationship? Does this mean wealth, stability, children? For each person the happiness in their lives is specific to their needs. Many people dream of fame and fortune. Excessive amounts of wealth could mean for someone that they can live happily ever after. The ability to purchase anything and everything, travel endlessly and never have a care in the world when it comes to your bank account is some peoples dream.

True love. Some people search the world for someone who in every way completes them. A person who shares their inner most thoughts, fears and dreams. To search for what seems like forever for someone who touches your soul can be a long journey. When that journey is complete,and you have comitted to forever with that someone, all your fears are laid to rest. You will feel that you have finally hit happily ever after, knowing that you have found someone to be by your side.

Children could be the happily ever after for a couple. Couples who have trouble conceiving would go to any length to be able to have children. Most would move heaven and earth to make their dream come true. If that dream can be fulfilled by any means necessary, that couple would feel they are now living happily ever after.

Everyone’s version of living happily ever after can range from where they have decided to live, to what job they have taken, to how many children they have. Living happily ever after isn’t a “thing” it’s a state of mind. When you have finally decided to want what you have instead of wanting what you haven’t got, it will change your life. Knowing what your state of happiness is can set the stage for the rest of your life. Happiness is there for the taking, all you have to do is learn how to take you piece of it.

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Making Your Marriage Work

September 17, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Whether you are on your first marriage or your fifth, you can make the choice to stay together and make your marriage work, even if it feels like the marriage is over. In our society divorce is no longer considered scandalous as it was in years past. This makes it easier to choose divorce as an option if things aren’t “working out” the way you had planned. At some point though, you may want to say enough is enough. I’m going to stick this out, I made vows and I intend to make my marriage work. Listed below are some helpful hints for Making Your Marriage Work for you both.

Be Realistic. Couples often go into marriage with idealistic notions of what marriage is all about. These ideas are handed down from your family generation to generation or gleaned from popular magazines, TV shows, or simply conjured from their own fantasies of what they would like. Each individual should make clear what their explicit and implicit expectations are and clarify these expectations such that they are clearly understood by one another. Where there are discrepancies, a mutually satisfying compromise must be reached.

Do Not Take One Another For Granted. This can be a killer for a relationship. It usually occurs sometime after the honeymoon period. When our partner feels taken for granted, not respected or acknowledged, and feels that others are a higher priority than him/herself, resentment brews. A regular “state of the union” check-in with your spouse as to how s/he is feeling about the relationship can help avert resentment build-up.

Communication Skills. Being able to communicate is one of the greatest assets in any relationship. Being able to articulate our thoughts and being certain that the listener understands what you wish to say take considerable practice. Often we believe we are saying one thing, while the listener is hearing something entirely different. The listener often is responding to either what they believed you to say or their own interpretation. Communication requires both good transmission skills (articulation) and good receptive skills (listening). Without both, communication will be at best difficult.

Keep the Romance Alive. Maintaining the romance in a relationship is vital to the vibrancy of the relationship. Once people marry they often become quite lax in this department. They allow business, chores, and children to get in the way of their romantic life. In a busy life, especially if there are children, it takes considerable effort to maintain romance. But it is worth it. It takes planning, creativity and commitment.

Develop Sexual Skills. People believe that having sex is just “doing what comes naturally.” Believing this is like thinking that world-class ballroom dancers are simply born — no rehearsals, no practice, no innovation, no experimentation, and no mistakes. The same holds true for sexual activity in the bedroom. Good lovers are made, not born. Many times men and women believe that somehow the man is supposed to “know” what to do and be good at it. Fearing failure, they do only what is tried and true. One of the most common problems that couples have is the lack of innovation. Sex becomes boring. Such predictability can lead to staleness and apathy. Communication about sexuality, and the willingness to experiment will keep the bedroom activities exciting, interesting and fun.

Be Complimentary. It costs nothing to compliment your partner and it sure feels good to receive them. We are often chary about paying compliments to our mates, letting them know that we think they are pretty/handsome, smart, clever, well-dressed, kind, a good parent, etc. We do not have to wait until some occasion when we purchase a greeting card to let our mates know that we think they are special.

Show Appreciation. Another small thing that feels good. Thanking your partner for making dinner or taking out the trash, picking up clothes from the dry-cleaners, and in general letting him/her know that s/he is appreciated can go along way in creating a caring environment. Couples are very quick to criticize one another when chores do not get done, but they are very remiss when it comes to showing appreciation.

Be Faithful. In order to keep a relation alive, you have to have faith and trust in your beloved. No one is perfect and you have to accept the other person just as he/she accepts you, with the positives and negatives. There is a very thin line of difference between trust and faith and it is very important to trust your partner and have faith in yourself to keep the relationship going.

Problems with your marriage can wear away at the love you and your spouse once had and if not resolved will destroy your marriage.

It doesn’t matter how long you have been married. It doesn’t matter if you are having very serious conflicts and problems or if you just want to make a shaky marriage stronger, a happy, successful marriage is possible.

What does matter is that you do want a change and you do want your marriage to be the best it can be.

You can make your marriage work and restore the love you once felt.

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Wedding Toasts – When Two Become One

June 8, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

In a wedding  the exchange of vows, rings and the sway of the wedding couple to the music, a part which is always anticipated is the  wedding speeches. The heartfelt speeches given by those closest to the wedding couple are always held in high regards. The moment filled with happiness and countless emotions cannot be just wasted in joyful tears only. There are certain things that need to be said or rather heard in order to make the day even more memorable and enthralling. These wedding speeches are given by those who are closest to the bride and groom. Among these  speeches is the one made by the father of the bride , and is to be  considered  always the most heart warming. However there are also many things that cannot be put aside. Wedding speeches are designed to be extra special. These simple lines do not remain mediocre after they have been spoken .They include or are part of very special moments shared by all on the wedding day.

When the wedding ceremony has concluded and the reception is moving from the reception line to the dinner, this is the time when the well-wishers have a chance to make wedding toasts. The wedding speeches and toasts are a very long-standing tradition in weddings that help celebrate the special day, while raising a glass in honor of the couple.

Wedding toasts can be formally prepared before the event or they can be a spontaneous expression of support and encouragement for the new couple. Giving a wedding toast is a time to express admiration, add an element of humor or laughter, express sentiments and even provide special insights into the courtship and future of the couple.

After the main wedding speech, which is often offered by the best man, the general wedding toasts can begin. Toasts can provide an opportunity for other guests outside of the formal wedding party to participate. They are a good way to make the transition from the formality of the wedding ceremony to a more relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere.

Wedding toasts are generally proposed once all the champagne glasses have been properly filled. Toasts carry with them some tradition, whether the wedding reception is a formal or a casual affair. Toasting should be done by raising the glass with the right hand and by holding the glass straight out from the shoulder. This practice harkens back to the days of concealing weapons, such as a dagger, in one’s clothing. Therefore, extending the glass in such a way provides proof of good intentions.

Another element of traditional wedding toasts that goes back many centuries is the loudness of the merrymaking for the purpose of warding off evil spirits. The sound created by the clinking of the champagne glasses at the end of each wedding toast makes a sound somewhat akin to the ringing of a bell. This is another ancient belief in keeping the evil spirits away from the celebration.

The term “toasting” actually got its roots from a French custom in which a piece of bread was placed in the bottom of each wine glass to absorb the sediment. Someone who was considered to be a good toaster would then drink all the way “down to the toast.” Over time, this practice evolved into the current custom of drinking to someones prosperity, health or happiness. Nowadays, the wedding toasts are offered to wish congratulations and good luck to the newlyweds.

Many people are not aware that during the wedding toasts, the bride and groom should not raise their glasses. Since they are the ones being honored, everyone else is to raise their glass to them, leaving the couple to simply sip from their glasses at the conclusion of each wedding toast.

Traditionally, wedding toasts are given either during the rehearsal dinner, the wedding reception, or on both occasions. In any event, the toasting usually follows the meal or is done just after the ceremony of cutting the cake.

Remember that your wedding speech or wedding toasts should only be about 10 minutes long at the most and around a thousand words, more or less. To be sure that you come across as warm and heartfelt rather than nervous, invest a few minutes everyday for about a week before the wedding to practice your speech or toast out loud in front of a mirror. A lot of wedding toasts also can just be a raising of your glass with a congratulations and this is very acceptable when you are possibly not family to the bride or groom.

Have any wedding questions? Get all the answers you need now at Rachael West Designs.

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Single to Engaged to Marriage!

April 12, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

The day has finally arrived. You have anticipated this moment for as long as you can remember and now it is here. In doing so, you inadvertently have prepared yourself for another milestone. If you’ve recently gone from single to engaged congratulations and now it is time to prepare yourself for your new future. Being engaged can really put a lot of stress on a person. The expectation that arises from such a  simple gesture can be overwhelming. Especially if you are beginning the planning for  your wedding day.

Being engaged can promote a flurry emotions. Relax. First take the time to appreciate your new status in life. Let the term ”fiance” roll off your tongue a couple times until it sinks in. It really  just means that your special someone has taken that next step in your relationship and is wanting to spend their life with you. It is a happy time that can always require a lot of transition to a new life. When you become engaged to somebody you are going to begin thinking more about your future and what you want to see happen in it.

Upon examining your new found social status there are some things you’ll want to think about including:

  • Where you are going to live? His, yours, or somewhere new?
  • When you are going to get married?
  • Whether or not you want children? Well this may want to be established before the engagement, can be a “deal breaker”
  • If this is what you truly want, is this someone you can say “forever ” too?

Now these may seem like large issues to tackle, but they are things you will truly want to think about and discuss with your partner. If you don’t have the same goals and wants it could cause some complications on your future together, so make sure you want the same things in life before you embark on a further journey together. Of course there is going to be some things you may both not agree on, but you can at least discuss them and come to a conclusion together.

Going from single to engaged can be quite an event. Even though you’ve been with your partner for a long time it could be a little shocking knowing that this is it, the last person you have a first date with, the last person you have a first kiss with. If knowing this provides you with a sense of comfort  versus a sense of panic your off to a good start.If it is, congratulations you’ve entered the elite status of “engagement” and are on your way to married.

Marriage in its entirety is wonderful place in life to be. You are spending your days with that one person in the world you can’t live without and experiencing your lives together. Being engaged and preparing yourselves to become married will take a lot of effort and many bumps along the way, but it is something you will smile about down the road. While the wedding preparation may seem to be the only thing in focus, it should really be about both of you entering into a phase in your life. Do the wedding planning together, it’s part of your entrance into marriage. You are both transitioning from single life to engaged life, so be supportive of your partner by making decision together. It serves as a well laid foundation of the years to come.

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Marriage Relationship Advice

March 23, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Marriage is a sacred union, and it can take a lot of work to keep that union. Unfortunately a lot of marriages end because the effort that’s needed in order to stay together happily. That’s why couples visiting marriage counselors for marriage relationship advice is so common these days. You don’t have to pay money for a counselor to resolve your marriage problems, though.

If both you and your spouse would look at each other yourselves and examine how you’ve been handling each other, you just may be able to come out from the rough spots happier than you ever were before. Learn to compromise with your spouse on whatever you possibly can and try not to start arguments. You may have met them halfway on a lot of things before, but sometimes you need to go further than halfway to meet their cooperation. You may not think it’s fair, but consider if you’ve ever made them meet you more than halfway before.

Marriage is more about sacrifice than just being in a relationship is and both sides need to understand that they’re in it for both of them, not just themselves. But some things are worse than just a lack of effort. If your spouse did something awful like cheat on you, you need to seriously weigh your options. Is staying with them worth the hurt of that kind of betrayal? You need to seriously consider whether that kind of pain is worth the bits of happiness.

Don’t stay with your cheating spouse because you love them — how could their love even compare with yours if they’re lying and betraying your trust by cheating on you? If you are the cheating spouse, you need to consider whether you really want to stay with your husband or wife or not. A cheating spouse hears this type of marriage relationship advice all the time, but its sound to ask yourself: Why did I do this? If your spouse is not making you feel loved enough or is not satisfying your sexual needs, it is probably better that you break it off than drag it out and continue to strain and hurt you both.

There are lots of things to consider before getting married, and if you’re thinking about it take this bit of marriage relationship advice to heart: If you’re not willing to work for the well being of two people instead of one, maybe marriage isn’t the right thing for you right now.

The divorce rate is at an all time high because people get married before actually thinking about what marriage really is: A team effort. Whether you’re married right now or are thinking about popping the question, keep in mind that it’s not the walk in the park that movies and TV make it seem like.

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Getting Through The Hard Moments

March 8, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Life is something that is always going to have its ups and downs. Everyone is going to have different opinions on your life and the things that you do, so how do you get through the hard moments? The fact of life is that marriage is not easy. Most marriages have lots of rough spots. These rough spots can cause one of two things to happen. They can either make the marriage stronger, or they can ruin it. Which it is for you, is up to you.

What your rough spots are will vary. For some it is money, for others cheating or insecurity, for others a death, or birth, etc. So, it would be wise to prepare yourself for rough spots of all varieties as the old adage goes, “It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared.”

The following are some tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage with a stronger relationship rather than one that is ruined:

Don’t worry, be happy. The person who sits and waits for something bad to happen will surely find it. You should not try and fix something that is not broken. The fact of the matter is that worrying does more damage than good. So, instead of wasting time and energy worrying, you should look at hope, and find solutions. Worry gets you no where, and worse, it puts up road blocks for when you try to go somewhere.

Patience is a virtue. Patience is one of the smartest attributes you can have if you are worried about going through tough times in your marriage. It is sort of like a cure all. If you can be patient and not let stress sway you into losing perspective. Being patient enough to get through the hard times without being overly wound or stressed will help you to keep adversity from damaging your relationship. Part of patience is seeing that hard times are not someone’s fault but part of life, and if you are patient you will know that blame and criticism of your spouse will get you no where but in a broken marriage. Sarcasm is the like the opposite of patience, so do not let sarcasm take over your life.

Be quick to forgive. Sometimes hard times bring out the worst in us, and we can start to hate, blame, and hurt the people we profess to love. You have to recognize that your upset feelings are like a disease that can infect your relationship if you let it. If you do not take necessary precautions, you will let resentment, frustration and hate take the place that love, kindness, and understanding should be. So, forgive mistakes, be open armed and ready to accept people despite their imperfections, you have them too. You make mistakes and need forgiveness occasionally as well, so don’t be selfish with your forgiveness, give openly.

Laugh at yourself. Believe it or not if you can find humor, even if it is just irony, when hard times fall, your relationship will be much stronger. Do your best to find humor in the challenge you are facing. If you can do this, you can survive it. If you learn to laugh at the situation, you will learn to have hope for something better.

Join forces. When something bad happens you should not seclude yourself, rather you should join forces. You and your spouse are a team, and what better time to stand together than against adversity? If you commit to one another that even during the hard times you will stick with each other, and if you remind one another of your promise to endure you will likely find that your relationship can withstand a lot more, and you will become closer, stronger, and more united because of the experiences. It is common to brood, withdraw from each other, etc. Instead you should practice turning to each other instead of away when crisis hits.

The following is a simple list of things that you should remember during hard times in your marriage if you want it to work.

  • Don’t blame each other.
  • Be slow to judge and quick to forgive.
  • Remind yourself that the tough times won’t last forever and that there is a rainbow after the rain.
  • Don’t have a negative attitude, it gets you no where.
  • Ask for help from family and friends when possible.
  • Remember your love and commitment to each other and remind each other of it often.
  • Exercise and getting plenty of sleep so you are not as stressed.

Getting through all the hard moments not only will help strengthen your marriage, but allow you to feel that anything is possible together. Hope we helped you see that it is possible to get through those hard moments.

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Marriage Relationship Advice

March 3, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment


I have a few marriage relationship advice tips for you. It seem that when we first fall in love with someone it feels like the love will last forever, and we get married with the idea that love and the chemistry will keep us together no matter what.
 
Today when about half of all marriages end in divorce, its clear that just the love and chemistry alone doesn’t work. So it pays to know more before we get married. But if you’re already married, then what? Well here’s some marriage relationship advice that can help before marriage or after that will keep couples together.
 
My first marriage relationship advice tip would be.
As time passes in a relationship or marriage couples tend to fall into a routine. Doing the same things, going to the same places. Ask your partner out on a date. Do something new and special together. Try going to the zoo, beach, aquarium or a carnival.
 
On a date you can get dressed up and look you’re best, you’ll have more time alone to communicate and be drawn closer together. A date can help bring a dull or stale relationship out of a rut and bring some life back into it.
 
Another marriage relationship advice tip would be to ask some things about your partner. Do they want kids? Do they want a career? Do they go to church? And many more. You would be surprised how many couples fail to ask about the most simple of topics before they get married. Then after marriage they still don’t ask the most important questions.
 
One of the biggest factors in most couples getting a divorce is they fail to ask one another the right questions. If you fail to sit down with your partner and ask them about your future, sex, religion, finances and many others you’re going to wind up in nothing but argument after argument.
 
So my marriage relationship advice is to really get to know each other really well. And never let a day pass without a compliment or praise for your partner. Tell them how wonderful they are. Love and romance them and they will return the favor. It is much easier to love if you are loved.
Constantly support your spouse. Cheer for them, don’t boo them or give them the silent treatment.
 
In the end as a couple you both need to make it your number 1 priority to get to know each other inside and out before you end in a broken relationship.  
 
 
 
 

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Can you use eharmony to find a companion but not marriage?

March 1, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

I’m thinking of signing up my mom for eharmony but she definitely doesn’t want to marry, just find a companion. Does eharmony have options for you look at people not looking to get married but simply find companions? i know it sounds like a dumb question but i just want to know before i purchase this for her.

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Effective Relationship Advice Brings Your Marriage Life Back on Track!

February 23, 2010 By Karen Hiser Leave a Comment

Your marriage life may not go on smoothly forever. It is bound to face some turbulent times that put a question mark on the sustainability of the relationship itself. Relationship advice is what you can relay upon to save your relationship from turmoil. Naturally, there will be a lot of advice coming your way. But, every piece of advice may not be acceptable for you. So, looking for the right relationship advice that can resurrect your life is highly sought by couples nowadays. There are countless instances where couples in deep emotional bonding for years decide to get separated from each other suddenly. The love and charm are gone and the beloved partners have nothing to do with each other. Here relationship advice comes into play. Whether you have recently broken up or you’re in the midst of a divorce process or your ex-partner is already dating someone new, for more details visit to www. auto-cons. com there are few simple techniques that can fix your relationship and bring your deserted partner cheerfully back into your arms. Human beings are not perfect. When two persons live together for years, there would be naturally some relationship problems between them. It is not your fault. Everybody encounters the same problem. People since the day of their birth develop different kinds of relationship with others. They come in and out of the relationships every now and then. But, people never strive to maintain their relationships or how to make them better. A relationship advice can make you aware of that fault. According to relationship advice, we are never taught in our lives how to sustain a happy and healthy relationship. So, there is nothing surprising in committing some mistakes. However, there are some fatal mistakes that if we commit can slowly ruin the relationship and take your partner further away from you. These include seeking help from family and friends, promising your partner that you’ll change, for more details visit to www. be-an-air-courier. com hoping that your relationship will automatically survive, attempting to reason with your partner etc. The simple techniques that were mentioned earlier in the article can prove to be effective relationship advice. You can save yourself from expensive counseling and expensive divorce lawyers by adopting these techniques. To revive your relationship, you don’t need to drag your partner into it. Introducing the shortest relationship repair guide ever created, Radomir Samardzic offers you one proven relationship advice instead of plenty. He has 7 years of experience in teaching people how to save their relationships without involving their partners. His book, aptly titled “The Relationship Saver” is a result of his rich experience. You can visit RelatioshipSaver. org to have more information and download the copy.

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