Wе′re nοt even married уеt (3.5 weeks tο gο, YAY!) аnd already ουr friends/family/acquaintances аrе bombarding υѕ wіth annoying (аnd іn mу opinion, inappropriate) qυеѕtіοnѕ: whеn аrе уου buying a house? Whеn аrе уου having a baby? etc.
Sіnсе whеn dіd рlοttіng a wedding аnd getting married open thе bride аnd groom up tο ridiculously personal qυеѕtіοnѕ thаt ѕhουld otherwise nοt bе qυеѕtіοnеd? I guess thе baby thing іѕ somewhat understandable (аѕ іt seems tο bе thе next step іn a marriage) bυt thе whole buying a house thing really irks mе. In thіѕ economy (аnd іn NY, whеrе real estate prices аrе sky high), whο wаntѕ tο take οn a mortgage? Sοmе people even gο аѕ far аѕ speculating (whеn wе аnѕwеr “nοt уеt” οr something vague along those lines) hοw much wе probably mаkе аnd thаt wе ѕhουld сеrtаіnlу bе аblе tο afford a house.
Anyone еlѕе facing thіѕ close tο уουr wedding? Whаt dο уου dο tο fend thеѕе people οff?
Thanks!
Kuppa, уου mаdе mе laugh! And wе really ARE thinking аbουt a baby іn thе first year, bυt I don’t need anyone tο know ουr procreation plans before anything happens! LOL!
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I would just say to people you are in no rush for either a baby or a house. You are pleased where you are, and in time will reckon about those things. Its no one’s business, but of course people reckon it’s honest game.
I would just tell them when you are ready. I don’t have this problem since we bought a house already and I’m having tube reversal surgery right after the wedding so everyone knows we will be hopefully having a baby. lol But I don’t reckon it would bother me if a family member was asking. Sometimes people just question stupid questions as a conversation starter. Most of the time they aren’t trying to be nosy.
Yes, we’re getting those questions too. Usually a, “One thing at a time! Let’s get through the wedding first!”, has sufficed.
Excellent luck, and don’t feel like you need to divulge more than you wish. You don’t have to!
LOL. Sweetie, it never stops. Get engaged and they want to know when the wedding is, get married and they want to know when you’re going to have a baby. Give birth to #1 and before you’re out of the hospital they want to know when you’re having the next one-and on and on it goes. Do your best to smile sweetly and say “We’re not thinking about that right now.” Then either change the subject or walk away.
im not getting married,,but tell those people when teh question you when are you buying a house say..when ever you wanna give me the money to buy a house and feed my baby!
i just proposed aqbout a month ago and were already getting the questions. we already live together in our own house so thats not a question but we are getting the baby one quite often. you jsut have to brush it off becuase they will kepp asking becuase this its exciting for everyone involved. your parents want a grandchild so they will keep asking. you just have to let everything they say go in one ear and out the other because if you dont you will go crazy and it mihgt have an effect on your relationship. but i feel ya .. it gets annoying
We’re already getting the “when are you having a baby?” question and we’re not getting married until next June! The way we’ve dealt with it is to give simple small answers. Our answer to this one? “Later on.”
I’m in Boston, where the real estate prices are pretty much on par with NY. It feels nearly impossible when you’re just starting out. If people can’t seem to grasp that, that’s their problem. Just give the small and sweet answer of “When we can afford it”. Most people won’t question any follow up questions to that because it’s considered really rude to discuss someone else’s financial situation.
just ignore all those comments..we have been living together and for 3 years and dated for 4 before that…and people were still asking about babies..specially his mother!! i was like we are not married and we live in a tiny apartment…
we bought a huge apartment and we’ll get married in Sept. but yea some people still asking me about honey moon, or getting larger house.etc…i just give them vague answers because i dont even know..even a baby i dont know..i will wait a awhile i guess..
so yea dont get upset..tell ppl whatever you want..i mean dont lie..but say my fiance and I are discussing that personal matter…or something along those lines…just make sure they know that its a personal and very private choice…
I just got married in November and I dealt with those types of questions the whole time. It doesn’t get simpler or better … when I graduated highschool, I was questioned “so what are you doing now?” and then college “what are you going to do?” and then just went thru plotting and paying for a wedding ourselves.
We are recently pregnant and are looking into buying a house. Now poeple are wondering “why so quick?” If it’s not one question, its another. I just smile and walk away when people start asking and I don’t want to answer.
Crazy huh!
We keep getting “so when are you guys going to get pregnant”
I feel like saying…the last time I recalled I am the one getting pregnant and I reckon I should get through the wedding before I go popping out babies all over.
You should see my hubbie to be’s mouth drop everytime…he’s like babies!!! AAAAAHHH!
I got married 7 weeks ago and I know what you mean.
I’ll give you excellent news though! It’ll die down very quickly after the wedding. Not completely but it’ll die down enough for you to wonder what happened? Noone cares all of a sudden? lol
Don’t stress it. Delight in your wedding!
P.S. One small advice. Make sure to take a couple of your wedding invitations to the wedding for the photographer and videographer to include in the albums.
All the best!
i got married in 2007 and didn’t really have to face those questions at all since we bought our house right before we got married.
but now ppl are asking when we’re going to have kids and it really bothers me because i wants kids so terrible but my hubby can’t have them…
so i come back with some smart ass responses like:
“As soon as they’re worth more on the black market.”
“As soon as I figure out how.”
“Not for at least another nine months.”
About nine months after conception’.
“Not while Michael Jackson is at large
I’ve got one for ya: I just had my shower this past Saturday and my future father in law got me a baby name book with HIS name highlighted in it. Yeah. Funny.
When we first got engaged (Jan 08) we told everyone we were waiting until Spring 2010 to get married. The future father in law, again, said “Jeez! Why don’t you just bring your kids to visit my grave!” >:/ Grr.
Well, my husband and I already have a house… But, girl, you have NO thought how many times we’ve been questioned about having a baby! I’ve lost count! Just smile and repeat: “Maybe someday.” It will only get worse once you are married. Don’t judge too harshly, tho – people are naturally curious about other people, and close friends and family especially want to know what your plans are.
In my case, people are not only asking me; even my mom’s co-workers are so concerned with this issue that they keep asking her why I don’t have kids yet (and I’d never even met them – my mom lives in a different country). So it’s a huge deal, and people will be asking, especially as you get older.
P.S. LMAO, Kate is right! If you don’t have a baby straight away, people will be asking why not. If you do, they’ll be asking why so quick. If you don’t buy a house, they’ll question you when; if you do, they’ll be wondering how you could afford it. Just smile and go at your own pace! Congrats.
I’ve started responding by saying we’re adding an extra month to our original waiting time each time we’re questioned about it.
Shuts everyone up pretty quickly
The questions are certainly annoying, but these people care about you and your future and your happiness. In a way its sweet!
I’ve been getting it too. Questions about where we will live are coming from friends and questions about babies are coming from family.
Which weirds me out a small. My family wants to know when I’m going to start having sex, that’s essentially what they’re saying. Ewww.
I’ve learned to stop telling them that twins run in my fiance’s family, because that seems to fuel their fire. I just tell them all “some day…we have to get used to it being just us and then we’ll reckon about kids.”
That usually works as an answer.
God Bless!!