A friend οf mine gοt married six months ago. Unbeknownst tο hіm, hіѕ fiancee – now wife – turned out tο bе a raging lunatic. Hе′s a stickler fοr adhering tο hіѕ vows, аnd ѕауѕ thаt hе agreed tο marry “fοr better οr fοr worse.” I tοld hіm thаt іf hе truly believes thаt ѕhе іѕ thе “wοrѕt” – nοt јυѕt “worse” – thаt hе ought tο bе аblе tο divorce hеr wіth a clear conscience. Hе dіd nοt ѕау “fοr better οr fοr wοrѕt.” Hе thinks I’m being way tοο technical. Whаt dο уου rесkοn?
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First off… maybe consider what could be causing the problem? Stress, pregnancy etc..
If they didn’t live together before the marriage that may be the problem??
But if it comes down to it, and these are just her right colors, maybe you have to make it clear to him that the woman he fell in like with is not the woman he is now with. Maybe she is miserable, would he want to have kids with a woman who is like this? Maybe she knew he is this genuinely nice guy, and she intentionally acted a certain way to get him, and now is showing how she really is.
I hope that this doesn’t end in divorce, but does he really plot to spend the next few decades with her? Will he be able to? If he can’t he may as well get out now. Its better sooner than later, less people will be hurt.
Hope these points would help to bring up to him.
LOL. “for better or worse” is right English. “worst” is implied in the “for better or worse” statement.
if she committed fraud–that is she presented herself as one way and became another way after the wedding then he can get an annulment. But this is his choice. Sometimes you have to let people suffer for their own stupidity and rigidity.
as to her being a “raging lunatic” and him not being aware of the fact before hand. I find that unlikely. He was either not paying attention or did not know her long enough.
I reckon you are being too technical. Just because the words may not have been said, doesnt mean that he hasnt tried to live by them in his heart. He means them.
Its his choice, while we may not agree with it. No one can make this choice for him.
My advice? Stay out of other people’s marriages. No excellent comes from meddling.
Besides . . . suppose they reconcile? If you are now encouraging divorce, they won’t want to have anything to do with you after they reconcile.
Stay out of it. Leave their marriage to them. Let him make his own decisions regarding the marriage.
He needs advice? Tell him to turn to his clergy person or a marriage counselor.
Well, that’s the choice he’s made and he’ll have to live with it. If he thinks he should stay in it, then that’s him. You can’t do anything about it. I know you’re a concerned friend and that’s nice of you to be so caring. Maybe you could suggest counseling for them. Maybe advice coming from a 3rd party or professional would help him. You might really make him distance himself from you if you get too pushy with the subject. Just be there for him as a friend.
If it’s truly a mental illness, serious psychological problems, an annulment could probably even be granted.
In that case, the vows were not taken being ‘of sound mind’.