1. Whу hаѕ thе bride’s family traditionally expected tο pay fοr practically thе entire wedding (except fοr thе liquor, whісh thе groom covers)?
2. Whу dοеѕ thе bride’s dress cost hundreds οr even thousands οf dollars, whіlе thе groom οnlу needs tο rent a tux? Couldn’t wedding dresses bе cheaper? I mean, really, іt’s οnlу cloth аnd fabric.
3. Cουld anyone take thе typical wedding, calculate ALL thе costs, аnd determine thе total amount οf $ thаt thе groom (οr hіѕ family) pays versus thе total amount οf $ thаt thе bride (οr hеr family) pays?
I’ll probably need tο sort through thеѕе concerns pretty soon. Thanks.
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You could hire a dressmaker and design your own dress for a lot less than a traditional wedding gown.
there is no need to have an elaborate ceremony. In today’s economy it is nearly ridiculous for people to pay $20,000-$30,000 for one day of their life. Hire a really excellent photographer and have a nice party without the traditional trappings. Save your money for a house or a nice honeymoon. Don’t start out married life in debt from the one day wedding ceremony.
1. sorry I don’t know for sure, but my guess would be because back in the olden days the parents of the bride got a dawlery
2. Simple because all brides need a dress to ware and what better way then to make money by making wedding dresses $$$
3. Sure they could if everyone agrees to do it.
I have to pay for my whole wedding no help form either side of the families
this is the way it is all over the world…it is the bride’s day…unfortunately, that is just customary.
things can be done a lot cheaper than you reckon…try a very small wedding, with a simple dress…spend the major money at the reception!
pretty much cause the whole ceremonial thing is mostly wanted by the woman the male tends to not care as much but then also come traditions like the brides fam pays for the wedding it is nearly like a dowry
1. In many cultures, girls are worth less than boys. The brides parents even pay a “bride price” or dowry in many countries yet today.
2. The brides dress costs thousands only if she chooses to pay that much.
3. You can sit down with the grooms parents and question them if they would be willing to pay for what ever percentage of the wedding you want. 50% of the total bill is not an unusual compromise in this day and age.
Its only a trdition that the brides family pays. Not a law. Talk to your fiancee and see if you could work something out. If its someone elses wedding then talk to them. My husband and I split the costs for our wedding three years ago. My mom only paid for the cake. Best of luck!!
1. Maybe u should talk this over with your groom. This is the 21 century he should certainly have to pay a honest amount.
2. You ahould try buying a simpler cheaper dress then adding the trims u want, yourself. Oh, and by the way cloth and fabric are the same thing. Or, try going to the bridal district of ur local major city. My friend went to the bridal district in LA and was able to get her brides maid dresses for $50.
3./sorry can’t do this for you because each wedding is different. do you want indoor or outdoor? evening or day? large or small? formal or informal? At home or at a venue? Catered or not? Maybe you should make some of these decisions first.
Also remember that it is your ( u and ur fiance’s) day. You don’t have to appease everyone. So what if fantastic-grandma Ethel wants u to get married in a cathedral. have an outdoor wedding at a friends house. it all depends on what u guys want. Please remember that u are soon going to marry this man, involve him on the decisions, that way on your special day, u both delight in it.
Just because its tradiation, doesnt mean its manditory. Do what you want and need to do.
You can get dresses very cheap if you need to. I got mine for $99 because they were having a sale and it was discontinued and an odd size.
Well, I’ll answer them the best I can…
1. Traditionally, throughout various cultures throughout time, the family of the bride has been expected to provide a dowry upon marriage, that is given to the husband. Originally, the purpose of a dowry was to ensure proper treatment of the new bride and to help the groom establish a prosperous household. It is my guess that the American tradition of the bride’s family paying for the wedding stems from this custom, probably much for the same reason.
2. You got me. My friend’s wife paid about $100 for a wedding dress on eBay and it looked very nice. From a techical point of view, I’m sure the woman’s wedding dress costs more because it is more involved to make than a Tux..
3. When I got married, the brides family kicked in a few grand, my family kicked in a small less, and I paid the remaining $12K or so out of my own pocket. The wedding was fantastic and I felt that the money was a gift to my new wife…never thought about inequalities or anything else, I just loved the experience.
We had an indoor wedding at a gorgeous Catholic Basilica. The reception was at a local tavern that looked like a dive from the outside, but was very nice on the inside. The spread ran us about $15.00 a head only plus alcohol, linens, and such. By the time we paid for limos, the rings, the dress, reception, church, photographer, videographer, etc…the wedding ran about $15K. This was in 1997. This was for about 225 people.
The reception in a nice hotel would have added about $5K to $10K onto the bill. We got a deal on the limos (2 limos for $100/hr for both) as my bro-in-law had a friend. We got a lot of wedding for the money.
The reception is what is going to make you or break you. Stay away from hotels if you need to save money as they cost quite a bit more. Don’t be worried to offer cheaper chicken and fish dishes over veal or steak. By the time people get the alcohol in them anyway, they could care less what they eat. Don’t skimp on the photographer…you tend to get what you pay for.
1. This dates from long-ago eras when the bride’s family paid the groom a dowry. This practice is outdated, especially now that many brides and grooms are older and self-supporting. Each couple needs to work out the wedding finances based on their own situations.
2. The reason dresses cost so much is because women have been willing to pay top dollar. Why? Successful marketing. The marketing campaigns tell us we should splurge; spare no expense, it’s your wedding day! Unfortunately, a lot of people buy into this notion that, to be classy and meaningful, a wedding must be lavish and pricey.
I got my gorgeous wedding dress from Jessica McClintock for $300. In general, if you go to bridal stores that only sell bridal stuff, you’ll pay more. Dresses at those places usually start close to $1000. Check department stores instead. No matter how you look at it, you’re still only going to wear it for a few hours.
3. Sorry, I can’t answer this one because it differs widely depending on the couple.
1. Well, that’s the way it is. Always was, always will be.
2. A bride can find a used gown, or a soiled one that can be cleaned and save hundreds of dollars that way. Or, she can find someone who can make a gown for less than you’ll find them in bridal salons. Even look in second hand shops.
3. Considering that the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner, and usually for the honeymoon, the costs can vary widely. Why bother with calculating them? They’re still going to cost the same. Bride’s family = wedding. Groom’s family = rehearsal dinner, booze, honeymoon.
Yo can find many ways to cut some costs if you are creative. Fabric flowers, invitations made on your pc with one of the software programs. A sewn bridal gown. potluck style wedding dinner, brought by family or guests, CD music instead of a live band, and so on. Reckon about it. For every expensive thing, question yourself how you could do this for less.
I reckon its ridiculous that the parents of the bride and groom are still expected to pay for the wedding since most people these days get married once they’re already living on their own and financially independent.
I want to answer all your questions…
1. I PAID FOR MY OWN WEDDING! I paid for the wedding and my husband paid for our honeymoon.
2. I got my dress for about the same price as his tux. You just have to shop around.
3. I spend about $1,400 and he spend about $1,500. But, our rings cost a heck of a lot more than that…and are not included.
We had a destination wedding with only our immediate family present. It was a gorgeous wedding.
1. Really these days, the vast majority of couples are working, so they pay for the whole wedding themselves – they are independent and do so. Long gone are the days when the girl went straight from her parents’ home to her husband’s, which is where the tradition came of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding.
2. About wedding garments, there are unlimited choices available to both the man and the woman. Some choose to be sheep, others don’t.
3. See answer 1.
THAT is why people are throwing that tradition out.
Lately the bride and groom pay for the wedding, not ‘the bride’s family pays for *this*, the groom’s family pays for *that*’ anymore.
And, there are gorgeous dresses for under $100 you just need to stop looking at the bridal shops. There is a shop called “Glory” in my area, gorgeous dresses. I’m sure I can find one in there for a excellent price. Or online.
1. This stems from the times when a bride’s family would have to pay a dowry. Paying for the wedding was part of that.
2. If the groom had to buy the tux it would cost more, but very few brides would only want to rent their dress. Also, tux styles are honestly constant so the rental place can use the same tuxes year after year. Styles in dresses change frequently so it would be riskier for them to rent them out. You don’t HAVE to wear a wedding dress. You could wear a normal dress if the cost bothered you that much.
3. Why should we do that sort of thing for you? The costs would vary based on number of people there and the town you’re in anyway. You seem like you’re just complaining.
no excellent reason just tradition
Traditionally the wedding day is the bride’s day. Most everything is centered around her, therefore it is expected of her parents to pay for everything. As for the dress….I’m really with you on that one, but you really can find a dress that will only cost $50-$100 and it is still gorgeous (trust me, mine was 99.99). And to calculate all costs, well that depends on the couple and on how extravagant they want the wedding to be.,
For example, I’m getting married on 7-8-07. We chose to go to Vegas. The ceremony at a chapel itself is only $215, my dress $100, accessories $80, grooms tux I won for free at a bridal show so his accessories are $40, and our 8 day 7 night stay with roundtrip airfare and hotel at the excalibur was $1075 for both of us. We get a video for free, posed photos for free, a limo for free and that’s that. This is the most traditional, inexpensive way to get married.
Our reception will follow when we get home, but we are gonna stick to a backyard BBQ style where everyone can get together, meet, and just have a excellent time. Niether of our parents are helping with costs this is all being done by us. Guess we don’t fit the traditional norm of costs lol
1. it was like that a long time ago. now its whatever people can afford they place in and most of the time its the couple getting married who is paying for the wedding.
2. well i dont know but davids bridal has the $99 sale maybe you can find something there.
3. before I reckon it was 60 (bride)/ 40 (groom) then it changed to 50/50 or even 80/20.
1. I don’t know… but this is not necessarily all right… in my case we are paying for everything… my fiancee and myself
2. you don’t need a wedding dress to get married you can just go to Macy’s and get a night dress… dresses are usually expensive because of the fabric, design, designer, and style… you get what you pay for…
3. like i said in #1. if your parents choose to pay for everything its’ on them… and if his parents choose to pay for that is on them as well… i reckon it should be your and your fiance’s responsibility to pay for everything
Bonus:
If you re complaining about how expensive a wedding is just get a Civil wedding… cheaper and no complaints on $$$ and inequalities…
#1 What you are speaking of is no longer happens in the real world. Wedding are expensive becuase, the bride will spend as it’s her day and you only get married once. This is why people charge more. If you can not pay for your own wedding then you are not ready to get married. Plot a budget. Your dress need not be thousands mine was not and it was gorgeous.
traditionally the bride’s bouqet, and corsage should be paid by the groom, along with the license and the liquor but weddings are a huge expense, and now-a-days it seems the bride’s family and groom’s family share the cost a small more equally. with people waiting longer to get married, and living together before marriage, then i believe the bride and groom should be paying a excellent part of the expense.
as for gowns, they can be as expensive, or not, as you choose. shop in consignment shops, liquidation stores, check out the want ads, you can find gorgeous gowns for a fraction of the cost of regular shops.
weddings are a huge rip-off, huge money is made from weddings. having said that, if you choose to have a ‘fairytale’ wedding and are willing to pay for it, then have fun.
but, don’t feel you have to keep up with the trends, make your wedding what you want it! delight in! excellent luck!
Question #1
The bride use to come with a dowery. Now the bride’s family pays for the wedding. Now the reception, according to a etiquette book I used when I married, was paid for by the groom’s family along with the rehearsal dinner.
Question #2
There are some boutiques that rent dresses. Especially wedding dresses. If you aren’t too worried about keeping the dress, see if you can rent it. If you wish to keep the dress, you could look into formal dresses that come in white and having a head piece made or just buy one.
Question #3
calculating a wedding depends on several thing, time of year, types of flowers, number of guests, type of reception,
Thought
Have you thought about looking into packages in Las Vegas? They are pretty reasonable.
Disney now talking about offering Wedding packages.
I’ve been reading a book called the anti-bride. And the rules have changed. You and your groom can choose who pays for what. Honestly, I am plotting a wedding right now and my husband to be could careless, he would go to the court house tomorrow and get married if I agreed to it. The wedding is sort of for me so I am paying for most of the expenses.
The brides family paying for everything take sthe place of the dowry which was an amount of money the brides family gave to the newlyweds. She wats to look her bestest and in the case of the groom it’s best if he rents a tux cause he usually hungover from the night before and the tux rental will clean the tux anyway. The brides family usually pays about 80 to 90 percent and that evens out by the suffering of the groom for the rest of his life.