Here’s another wedding qυеѕtіοn tο those οf уου whο hаνе bееn married іn thе Catholic church.
Mу fiance’ іѕ much more religious, well lets ѕау I hold somewhat different beliefs thеn hеr, аnd ѕhе wουld really lіkе tο bе married іn thе Catholic church. Iѕ thе priest going tο toss mе out οn mу butt bесаυѕе I аm basically a “cafeteria Catholic” аnd οnlу gο tο church a few times a year? Alѕο аrе thеу going tο toss mе out іf mе аnd mу fiance’ аrе nοt bible carrying super virgins?
It’s really vital tο mу fiance’ аnd hеr family tο gеt married іn a church аnd I really want tο mаkе hеr рlеаѕеd, ѕο іf anyone hаѕ аnу information I wουld really appreciate іt. Thanks іn advance!
Thanks everyone, yeah thаt’s pretty much whаt I hаd expected frοm whаt I’ve seen. I’m baptized аnd аll thаt jaz ѕο thеrе іѕ nο worries thеrе.
I hope thе priest takes thе don’t qυеѕtіοn don’t tеll аррrοасh, hehe! =P
Thanks everyone fοr confirming whаt I hаd thουght!
Hehe аlѕο аt thіѕ point thе wedding іѕ more vital tο hеr parents thеn еіthеr οf υѕ I wουld believe. Bυt іt іѕ still vital tο hеr аѕ well. Faith hаѕ nοt bееn a large issue wіth υѕ, ѕhе іѕ nοt аn extremeist аnd I hаνе a “Live аnd lеt live” attitude towards аll faiths аnd beliefs.
It’s fаntаѕtіс tο see thаt everyone hаѕ ѕο much information! Thank уου аll very much!
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let her choose
Have you ever been in a Catholic wedding? They are VERY long.
Also If i remember you have to convert to Catholic before the priest is able to marry you. If you are already an Catholic I reckon you have to question for their permission due you are an “Cafeteria Catholic” or not a member of their Church.
no they won’t toss you out, they may suggeset you take pre-cana classes with other couples
well ok to marry in a catholic church both the wife and usband to be need to have gone through baptism, holly communion etc. you cant marry in a catholic church if u dont have these
No. You will neither be the first or last ‘cafeteria’ Catholic to get married in the Church.
Prior to your wedding, you will have to meet with the priest and go through either an all-day retreat or a series of marriage classes.
Also, I know plenty of Catholics who weren’t virgins before marriage. The priest usually does the ‘don’t question, don’t tell’ method of discussing pre-marital sex.
Excellent luck to you both!
NO BECAUSE IT IS YOUR BIG DAY NOT THEIRS, BUT ANY TIME ELSE MAYBE
i had the same situation. most priests don`t really care that much.
you may want to really reckon about this because this difference between
us religiously has caused some major problems. i went to 12 years of catholic school and could care less if i ever set foot in a church again.
but she is a “super catholic” not a excellent mix
No they won’t deny marrying the two of you, but you may have to take pre marital classes, which usually just consists of just a few meetings and learning about what marriage means and how to have a excellent relationship.
If you are not baptized as a Catholic they may question you to either get baptized or blessed by the priest. Just have your fiance call her church (or whatever church you two want to get married in) and question the person who answers the church phone- they will be able to answer all her questions.
And as far as the virgin thing goes, no they don’t care that you’re not virgins, and they won’t question anything like that. A friend of mine has a 2 year ancient and she just got married in our Catholic church a few months ago.
And I’ve been a Catholic since the day I was born 25 years ago, and I’ve never known another Catholic who totes a bible around the way other religions do.
Hope this helps, and congratulations
You can still get married in the Catholic Church even if you aren’t as active as you should. You’ll have to take a class and meet with the priest (everyone does-even if they go to church everyday). But as long as at least one of you is confirmed you’ll be fine. Just make sure you speak to the priest about six months before the wedding. And not all Catholic weddings are LONG. You can question them for a ceremony only and not a full mass. Excellent luck!
they are definatly no tgoing to kick you out thats absurd! sometimes people who get married in the catholic church arent even catholic!
Hi and congratulations:
First of all “Billy Bob Jr.” is off his rocker.
NO, the priest is not going to scold you because you are a cafeteria Catholic.
As long as your fiance is a registered member (and goes to church) of the parish that you will be getting married in….you are OK.
NO, he will not question you all sorts of personal, intimate questions. This is such a myth and I wish it would go away.
YES, the priest (as all ministers do) takes marriage seriously. That is why you will be required (as in other faiths/religions…not just Catholic) to go to pre-marriage classes.
NO, you do not need to have a full Mass if you choose not to. You can have a simple service. But, since you ARE both Catholic, you can also choose to have the full Mass. And don’t let anyone tell you they are “long and dull.” I personally reckon that is so rude. If you find it that long and dull, then they should stay home.
Hope this helps!
Some churches have extra rules about who they will marry – both parties MUST be RC, up to and including confirmation. Even those crazy places would marry you. And no, they aren’t going to expect you to have never kissed or anything (not sure what else you mean by “super” virgin). Even if you’ve done more, they tend to assume that either you know better by now, or else that there’s no point in explaining the problems.
My suggestions though: see if your parish/diocese/deanery offers a inter-faith session in the usual pre-Cana classes. They will really help in your case – one of the things we discussed at ours was when one partner goes to church much more regularly. And if you don’t delight in going to mass, then don’t have a mass for the wedding. A lot of RC couples don’t do it anymore.
No, the priest won’t throw you out.
My husband and I got married in the Catholic Church and he isn’t a Catholic nor was he a virgin (though I was).
You will have to promise to be open to life though (i.e. no contraceptives, no abortions, no sterilizations and so on) and this is a promise you will be making in front of God, family and friends.
You two will have to take Pre-Cana classes as well as NFP (Natural Family Plotting) classes, both of which are fantastic!!
You have to promise to raise your children Catholic, meaning taking them to Mass every weekend and setting a excellent example for them.
You have to be married by a Catholic officiate (if you’re having a Mass, then by a priest, if you’re having a ceremony then with a priest or a deacon) and inside a Catholic Church.
At least one of persons must be Catholic and have gone through baptism, first communion and confession. Not both.
Talk to a priest, they won’t throw you out, but you do need to reckon about what you are promising when you do marry her.
Well, you’ll need to take pre-cana classes, and you’ll have to fill out a questionnaire. My best advice is to be honest. I reckon lying to the Church, in order to be married in it, is a terrible way to start out your marriage.
My daughter and her fiance’ (now husband) were married this past October. She and her husband are devout Catholics, they did wait until marriage for sex and they are not using artificial birth control. So they didn’t have the issues you have. But in their pre-cana classes, most of the couples were cohabitating and using birth control. They are instructed that this is against Church teaching and why, but it didn’t stop them from being married in the Church.
I would suggest that you find out what the Church does teach, you may be surprised to find it is not rules, but like that is the foundation of all the teachings. Christ and the Church want what is best for you and your marriage. Within the arms of the Church can be found all that you need for both.
Mine lasted 1 hour and 40 minutes…pure heck and i reckon i was delirious by the time it finished. You two will be fine and they will not throw you out. My now ex was a faithful catholic and i went once a year, midnight mass that’s it…The pews hurt my back. Im also a non denominational minister and the priest knew it…Oh and the church we got married in we didn’t belong to and never went to. It was the closest one to our reception site…my ranch. He didn’t care as long as we paid the funds.