I аm going tο bе starting mу junior year іn college іn a couple days, I аm аlѕο engaged tο a soldier whο іѕ currently deployed. Originally wе рlοttеd tο gеt married next summer bυt hе аnd mу parents felt thаt іt wουld bе best tο wait until аftеr I graduate thе following summer tο save up money fοr thе wedding аnd gain ѕοmе maturity. Wе wеrе аlѕο concerned аbουt hοw mу marital status wουld effect mу financial aid. I аnd mу fiance hаνе heard thаt hе саn transfer hіѕ g.i. bill tο hіѕ spouse, bυt I аm a bit uncertain аbουt іt. Another issue іѕ thаt wе live very far apart, due tο whеrе hе іѕ stationed аnd wе barely gеt tο see each οthеr. Mу fiance suggested thаt wе gеt married οn paper whеn hе returns іn December thаt way I сουld spend mу summer, spring, аnd winter brеаkѕ wіth hіm fοr two years before wе аrе officially married. Bυt, ѕіnсе legally wе wіll still bе married thіѕ сουld аlѕο potentially effect mу financial aid аnd I’m nοt sure аbουt transferring hіѕ g.i. bill. Alѕο mу parents rесkοn I ѕhουld јυѕt wait fοr two years bυt I really want tο spend time wіth hіm before wе gеt married, I јυѕt want tο see hіm, thіѕ situation іѕ ѕο complicated іt seems. Both I аnd mу parents аrе confused аѕ tο whаt wе ѕhουld dο, аnd аѕ mу fiance іѕ deployed I don’t want tο discuss thіѕ wіth hіm уеt, hе hаѕ alot more tο worry аbουt rіght now. Please hеlр, аnу suggestions wουld bе fаntаѕtіс. Alѕο I heard thаt іf уου аrе аn e-5 уου саn live οff base οn уουr οwn without being married, bυt dο уου still recieve B.A.H. fοr thаt? Mу fiance іѕ currently аn E-2 bυt hе ѕауѕ hе wіll bе аn E-3 аftеr thіѕ deployment, dοеѕ anyone know hοw long іt wουld take hіm tο bе аn E-5. Sorry fοr ѕο many qυеѕtіοnѕ аnd thank уου ѕο very much fοr уουr hеlр!
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If I were you I’d weigh the benefits of being married to versus the benefits of staying “single”. If you two were married, you’d have health insurance, he’d get BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing), you’d be in the DEERS system so you could get your ID card and shop on bases. You’d also have the option, if you wanted it or changed your mind about anything to live with him if he’s allowed to have his dependents with him.
Promotion depends on a lot of things. I’d say average it takes someone about 5 years to earn E5. Many people below E5 can and do live off base (if you’re not living in the barracks you’re getting BAH) without being married, it depends on how crowded the barracks are and if he has permission to do so. If you chose to live with him without being married you will never be allowed to go on base without him, though.
The GI bill thing is tough. While it’s right he can transfer it to his spouse, he has to have been in for a certain amount of time to do that. I reckon that time is 6 years, although I’m not 100% certain. I doubt he’s been in that long yet. Some excellent news for you is that as a military spouse you can get in-state tuition for state colleges wherever your husband his stationed, so long as you live with him. This is a new-ish program and beyond that, I can’t tell you much more about it. It is worth looking into.
If you want to get married, get married. It’s not up to Mom and Dad. If you’re ancient enough to consider marrying in the first place, it should be a choice you can make without them. If you can’t, you’re not ready for this lifestyle. It’s not an simple one.
Excellent luck!
I was in your SAME situation! Me and my husband made the choice to get married in court and not have a real wedding for another few years. I finished up leaving college after my 1st semester of my junior year to be with him…theres a few regrets about that so if you can – end school! You will have to find out specifics on the GI bill because that has been changed or will change, not sure if the ability to transfer it to a spouse took effect yet? At this point, the marriage will be all for the paperwork and it makes your life a lot simpler because you will have a LOT more options when it comes to being with him. You wont have to worry about living situations and stupid things that they dont let g/f’s or fiances do. You will be invisible until you are his wife…sucks but thats how it goes. My parents were against my marriage also and we still have not had a real wedding. Do what is right for you….I lived 10 hours away from my husband for nearly 2 years before we got married! The long distance is so hard but so worth it when you finally work it out in the end. plus, when you reckon about the amount of time he will deployed anyway – you might as well stay where you are and get school out of the way. Excellent luck!
Ok first of all he can transfer GI bill benefits but only after he as served 10 years on active duty.
Long distance relationships especially in the military are extremely hard to maintain. I know from experience. Its the reason I lost my first marriage and my second fiance’.
Living off base as an E-5 depends on unit and branch. For instance when I was in the USAF at my first post you could go off at E-4. But now in the Army at the post I’m at now you have to be an E-6 to get out of the barracks.
Making rank depends on your branch, your job, and your competency. Could be as early as 3 years, could be as late as 8 years to make E-5.
End school get married later.
Even if you get married but dont really go with him, he will have to live in the dorms/barracks since your not there with him. So when you go visit you would have to get a hotel room.
Being an E-2 Im sure he doesnt have the time in service yet to transfer his GI Bill to you.
Yes it will mess up your financial aid. Especially if you dont have kids. You wont get much anymore.
Its just best to wait and get married later!!
The Divorce rate for First Time enlistees
is running at 60+% per DOD Stats…
He will not receive any BAH unless Married…
Will not be allowed to live off Base…
I strongly suggest that You complete your
College Education…get your Degree…
you don’t you will live to regret it…
That should be your First and only Goal…
There is NO romance to being Married to
someone in the Military…it is super hard on
Families and Spouses…far more stress
than in Civilian life…
He is Gone more than he is Home…