dο уου hаνе аnу destination wedding horror tаlеѕ wіth уου аѕ thе guest аt thе wedding?
whіlе thеrе іѕ a fun trend toward glam destination weddings, dο уου rесkοn ѕοmе brides аrе nοt realistic аѕ tο thе expense people mυѕt gο tο ѕο thеу саn attend?
ѕοmе οf thе places thаt brides qυеѕtіοn guests tο come tο used tο bе called honeymoon destinations, now, thе whole wedding іѕ wеnt tο thе honeymoon spot. fаntаѕtіс fοr thе bride, bυt many times a logistical аnd financial effort οf hυgе proportions οn thе раrt οf thе guests, wουld уου agree?
dο уου rесkοn thе bride οr hеr family ѕhουld shoulder ѕοmе οf thе guests expenses?
fοr instance, a whole group іѕ going tο nеw york fοr a destination wedding іn sept. wе hаνе already paid fοr everything аnd i cant hеlр bυt notice thаt nowhere іѕ thеrе аnу invitation fοr аnу hospitality frοm еіthеr grooms οr brides family. i wouldnt dο іt thіѕ way, i wουld host a dinner myself fοr thе group thе night before thе wedding іf thеу came аll thаt way.
elizabeth, i rесkοn уου аrе smart tο set specific parameters, thеn thеrе аrе nο misunderstadings.
Related posts:
About admin
I was MOH for my friend’s wedding in California (we live in Arizona and I go to school in Iowa). Her family did not pay for my $1000 flight (I had to glide into a small airport on the beach). Would not pay for a place to stay for me or my date, and we had to rent a car +$25 because we are under 25. The whole trip came out to be WAY more than I had wanted because I was also spending money on jewlery, shoes, the dress and then the bride charged us for hair and make-up. I reckon the bride and her family should have helped with my expenses (the rest of the party got a free drive, free lodging, etc. because their dates were all friends and stayed with the groom). They really exciled me and I had a miserable time. So there is my horror tale.
I attended one relative’s wedding several years ago. It was in the town where the bride and groom lived but literally everyone else had to travel so it was considered by everyone to be a destination wedding. The ceremony and reception were on a Friday but people came in between Wed & Thurs. Thursday night in their home, they had a meet-and-greet of the families. The next morning at the crack of dawn was the ceremony in the Mormon church that no one was allowed to attend, followed by the reception at 6pm. On Friday, the couple mandated that their guests hang out with them all day and no one was allowed to go anywhere to eat lunch. (The couple didn’t eat either) When the reception rolled around at 6pm, there was cardboard flavored cake that no one ate so the only other option to eat was peanuts and terrible punch. The bride was a sourpuss all night and wouldn’t let anyone take pictures, or even talk to her or the groom. She was livid that no one danced to the mix tapes they made last minute the night before becasue the music was not danceable. That’s why I am anti-Ipod as the dj.
Oh and at the meet and greet at their home, they couldn’t be bothered to serve anything, even meat and cheese trays. On top of that, they didn’t send out invites until the week of the event with no way or even time to rsvp, and they didn’t send out thank you notes either.
I didn’t have a horrible time at my friends wedding. Her future mother in law paid for everything for me and my fiance. Now that i’m plotting my wedding, I intend to return the favorite for my best friend. I’ve budgeted some for our parents expenses, but mostly everyone else is either paying their own way or not coming because we can’t afford to pay for everyone, but we are trying to rent a timeshare for the time so we can cook dinner for everyone.
To be honest, if the expense is going to be too much, decline the invitation. It is not customary for the bridal family to pay for any of the travel expenses. My best friend is getting married in Puerto Rico this August and I spent 380 on my ticket, 250 on my dress, $200 per night at the room (4 nights she wants me there) and I’ll probably end up paying for alot more. I’m willing to foot the bill because she’s like family to me…I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. The best man but, said he can’t come because it will cost him too much after he accepted the invitation months ago and has been saying how much fun it will be. This has caused quite a rift between the best man and the groom. The groom has now questioned me to be both the moh and the best man…ha. He was joking …I hope.
Here’s the horror tale you have been waiting for….my finace’s sister was scheduled to have a destination wedding in Hilton Head, SC back in march of this year. (We all live in the northeast.) She cancelled the wedding 6 days before and had 125 people attending. Everyone had booked their flights and rooms so they could’t get their money back. My finace’s dad was so mad, but he offered to pay every guest back for all of the expenses they incrued. Note to others: make sure it’s the right person before plotting a destination wedding. Needless to say, this has set the tone for me and my finace’s wedding, so it will be local
I’ve traveled to several weddings and there were very few expenses paid for us. A few meals here and there that that was about it, but we gratefully accepted. On average, I have spent $2000 on travel expenses (airfair, parking, rent-a-car, lodging, meals, gift, attire). They are not obligated to pay fro anything for you though. We’ve been invited to rehersal dinners and next day brunch, maybe a lunch here and there, but that’s it.
I’m getting married soon, so I hope those people reciprocate in kind. It would only be honest. I’m inviting everyone to the rehearsal dinner and I’m helping with some of the BM expenses and I declined offers for showers and bachelorette parties.
Excellent luck
I just got back from a destination wedding in Watercolor, Florida. There wasn’t much that was paid for, but most people I’ve questioned about my own wedding (a lot of our guests are out of town) tell me that it is polite and sometimes customary to include your out of town guests in your rehearsal dinner, so that would at least be one meal for your guests while they are in town. We also had a favor bag in our rooms when we arrived in Florida that had snacks, drinks, etc., and maps of excellent places to go for meals and things to do. That way we wouldn’t spend all of our time driving around a place we had never been.
I know there were a lot of people at my brother’s wedding this past weekend that were so excited that they got to come to a wedding in Florida, but it was an expensive resort city. Luckily, my fiance’ and I were able to rent a condo with my mom and stepdad, so we didn’t incur the harsh room rates that others did. I know I will be thinking about this question when we have our wedding in April. We have more out of town guests than in town guests.
My fiance and I are getting married in Vegas. We were originally plotting for it to be just the two of us, but as we started to tell others of our plans, so many people said they’d like to come that we had to start making some more complicated arrangements.
Although we are doing our best to keep people informed of what’s going on, my fiance and I still want our wedding weekend to be “ours”. Therefore, we are spreading the word that anyone who shows up should be treating the weekend as a vacation for them, and that we would greatly appreciate it if they would be around for our ceremony since they’re going to be in town anyway. This is a command performance for nobody. We are not asking people to come, we are telling them when and where and then letting them come as they choose.
As for “hospitality” we did choose that our 30-minute booking allotment would not likely be enough to get to socialize with everyone, so we have invited everyone to our hotel suite the next morning for coffee, pastries and a champagne toast, if they are still in the area. But, this small get-together is more for our benefit than theirs! We plot on having a party (sort of a reception) when we return home, after the weather improves a bit.
None of our friends or family is treating our wedding as an obligatory event – if they can come, fantastic. If not, we’ll see them at the reception. Might this end up as a “horror tale” to some of those who come? Maybe, but we would hope that we set expectations properly.