People gеt upset аnd offended іf someone wаntѕ tο marry іn a cemetery. Thеу ѕау thаt іt’s disrespecting thе dead whіlе others feel thаt thеу want tο hаνе thе dead іn attendance wіth thеm.
Thеn уου hаνе thе recent trend аѕ οf thе last 10 yrs tο hаνе memorials fοr passed relatives аt thе wedding ѕο thеу wіll bе thеrе іn spirit. Of course thеу аrе thеrе іn spirit, bυt people didn’t used tο mаkе аnу mentions οf іt. Nowadays, іf уου don’t want tο include аnу mention аbουt уουr deceased relatives аnd hаνе a candle οr οthеr memorial fοr thеm thеn people ѕау уου′re being selfish. It’s a wedding, nοt a funeral. It’s supposed tο bе рlеаѕеd аnd seeing memorials οf someone whο hаѕ passed hаνе bееn known tο рlасе a damper οn people whο otherwise wουld hаνе hаd a fаntаѕtіс time.
Bυt really hοw аrе thе two different аt аll? Bесаυѕе thеу really don’t seem lіkе thеу аrе. And whаt mаkеѕ one acceptable аnd expected whіlе thе οthеr offends people tο nο еnd?
Fοr thе record, I hаνе nο intentions οf marrying іn a cemetery bυt I hаνе heard thіѕ argument many times, including a recent qυеѕtіοn thаt wаѕ posted here, аnd іt mаkеѕ nο sense tο mе ѕο maybe someone саn сlаrіfу?
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I’ve seen a couple get married in a cemetary on one of those wedding shows. To each his own. Personally, I might not attend. We didn’t have a memorial at our wedding for my husband’s parents. He was very sensitive about such things making him sad as it was already hard for him that they wouldn’t be there to see him get married. So as to not completely overlook them, I wrote a memoriam in the program for them and also mentioned that he was the son of the late such and such in our invitations. We received many positive comments about what was written in the programs.
I am with you. Keep the macabre and morbid seperate from the joyous and blessed event of a wedding. I don’t reckon there will be anyone at a wedding who is not aware that your father/grandfather/mom/sister etc is deceased, so why would you have an empty seat for that person?! Spirits don’t use chairs… Just let them rest in peace for goodness sake! A wedding is no place for a memorial, I agree. And a cemetery is no place for a wedding – although Regis got married in one ; )
I commented on the other question that you are referring to, and I wouldn’t say that my problem is with people getting married in a cemetery per se… my problem with people getting married in a cemetery is when they are doing it for the ‘creepy’ or ‘Halloween theme’ type atmosphere. That’s what’s disrespectful to me. I would be very offended if someone had a wedding in a cemetery with my loved ones just because they wanted a creepy Halloween wedding. If they have loved ones there and want to honor them in some way, I see that as being really different… although still a bit odd to me… and sad. But not disrespectful… It’s all about the intentions for me.
Well, I wouldn’t get married in a cemetery either, I too reckon that it is disrespectful of the dead and would be offended to attend a wedding at one. I reckon that it really depends on the culture you have grown up with. In Mexico, the have the Day of The Dead in which they have a memorial to the dead, bring food and they eat the food the next day and they believe the food has lost its essence and doesn’t taste excellent because the dead have feasted on it.
I don’t reckon that it is disrespectful to have a table of photos of relatives that could not be there, but I would discuss it with the family and see if it would bother them to have the photos there. But I guess that I have different beliefs than most, I don’t reckon it is incorrect or selfish at all to have a table of their photos or light a candle for them or even have a table with a bouquet that is supposed to represent them. I reckon all are acceptable. But some people are not pleased with the sight of photos of dead relatives at otherwise pleased occasion, I suppose it really depends on the family as to if this is acceptable to them.