is it rude to expect wedding gifts from people who won’t attend the ceremony and/or reception?

i аm gettin married іn h k mу friends (here) аnd mу parents wіll attend. bυt mοѕt οf mу friends аnd family іn thе US won’t attend. i wіll send wedding announcements tο everyone. wουld іt bе unacceptable tο tеll thеm hοw tο send mе gifts? ѕhουld i still register аt a well lονеd retail superstore lіkе wal-mart, kmart ect… dοеѕ wal-mart lеt уου register уουr wedding online? whаt places саn i register online fοr mу wedding?

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Comments

  1. Think! says:

    Register. But personally, I reckon it’s rude to EXPECT gifts. Why would one be obligated to buy you a gift just because you are getting married?

  2. WhydoIdothis says:

    I would let them know where you are registered and give them an address and let them figure out the rest.
    Do not say much more than that.

  3. mona_atraki says:

    It is rude if you want my opinion

  4. H_Chick says:

    I wouldnt expect presents from anyone to be honest…

  5. word_scratcher says:

    By having your wedding there you should not exspect people to send gifts, since they won’t be able to attend. But some will want to send gifts anyway. Tell them how to send gifts “if they choose to send gifts.”

    Wal-mart will let you register online. Most other large chain stores will let you register online as well. (Target etc…)

  6. NiftyZone says:

    If they really want to know, they’ll question (via email or phone). Telling them first hand is like obligating or expecting them to buy gifts when they shouldn’t have to.Honestly, I would find that tacky.

  7. JDGuru at work says:

    It would be terrible to solicit gifts. If they want to send you something, question them to send money. But rememeber – ONLy if they WANT to.

  8. berry says:

    The rule is if they don’t attend or won’t attend, they don’t and won’t need to give you a gift.

  9. Tmarie99 says:

    It would be rude to expect gifts at all.
    No one owes you anything just because you are getting married.

  10. grrrl says:

    Bit rude to expect gifts but hey, hopefully you’ll only do this once so might as well milk it for all its worth…
    Why not just go all out and question for money?

  11. livsgrandma says:

    Of course it would be rude to “expect” a “gift” from anyone. Social norms for weddings in the US dictate that if one is invited to the wedding and the reception, then one is obligated to send a gift. Correctly, gifts should be sent to the home of the bride prior to the wedding itself, not taken to the wedding reception.

    A wedding announcement, but, is specifically not an invitation to the wedding and there is no obligation for the recipient to gift the newlyweds, though some will of course wish to do so. To specifically tell your announcement recipients where to send a gift would be exceedingly rude. You should, of course, send your announcement with what will be your current return address. You might also want to word your announcement with an “at home” address included – something like “Bill and Cathy will be at home at blah, blah, blah following their honeymoon” – as a last line.

    By the way, it would also be quite rude to send invitations rather than announcements just to get gifts.

  12. Traveller says:

    You left a couple of things out; are you going to be living in HK or back in the US? I assume, if you want the gifts sent to Asia that you’ll be staying there, and I’ll tell you, the cost of shipping is more than most people will spend for a gift. So….if my asumption is right, I’d not register anywhere, and hope people have excellent common sense and give you money.
    To “EXPECT” gifts(as long as you keep your mouth shut), is not rude, but it isn’t very bright. You’ll certainly receive less with this out of the country wedding. But, if you are plotting to return to the USA in a reasonable period of time, you might consider a reception upon your return and get the loot then.

  13. mary m says:

    It is rude to even mention gifts in a wedding invitation or announcement.

    It is rude to mention where you are registered unless someone questions.

    The purpose of an invitation is to invite people to celebrate and rejoice with you. Not to shill for presents.

    (The purpose of family and friends, on the other hand, is to freely pass the info to anyone who even looks like they might want to send a gift.)

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