Mу husband аnd I hаνе οnlу bееn married a year аnd a half. Wе hаd thе whole church wedding аnd reception. Wе wουld really lіkе tο dο ουr wedding over. It wasn’t a fаntаѕtіс occasion bесаυѕе hіѕ family wаѕ ѕο against іt. Hіѕ mother аnd sister wеrе thеrе bυt thеу weren’t рlеаѕеd аbουt іt. Hіѕ father missed іt bесаυѕе hе іѕ a truck driver. Hіѕ aunts аnd uncles didn’t ѕhοw. Hіѕ brother іn law wаѕ fighting іn Iraq. Wе couldn’t afford a photographer ѕο ουr pictures suck. Now thе family lіkеѕ mе аnd thе brother іn law іѕ home safe. And wе hаνе thе money tο hаνе a fаntаѕtіс wedding. Wе′d lіkе tο hаνе another ceremony аnd reception јυѕt tο prove thеm аll incorrect аnd reaffirm ουr lіkе. Whеn ѕhουld wе dο іt? іѕ іt tοο soon? Anу thουghtѕ???
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If you can afford it, DO IT GIRL!!! I’m with you!!! Do it whenever you are ready!
How to renew your wedding vows
The excellent news is, there are far less rules and dos and don’ts about vow renewal than nearly any other kind of ritual. It can be as simple as the two of you alone in a gorgeous spot reciting vows you have written, or a fancy affair with hundreds of guests.
First Steps
Just as with any wedding plotting, you should start by figuring out what style of ceremony/reception you’d like, deciding a budget, picking a date and finding a venue. Some couples who are older will have much more money than when they wed the first time; others whose parents helped the first time will have far less. The excellent news is that vow renewals are generally cheaper than first weddings, and with less rules on what “should” be done, you can really concentrate on the elements that are vital to you.
How Elaborate Should a Vow Renewal Be?
The answer to this question lies in your own reason for wanting a vow renewal ceremony. Many people chose to renew their vows because they were so caught up in the plotting and the partying of their first wedding, they felt the focus of the day was taken off of the ceremony. Therefore, most vow renewals tend to be intimate celebrations, with only close family and friends present, and a lunch afterwards at a nice restaurant. Others who didn’t have much money for their first wedding have very lavish ceremonies and parties afterwards.
Even if you want a huge and expensive celebration, there are still a few things you should avoid:
* Don’t have attendants. If you have children, you can give them a special role in the ceremony, but there is no need to designate them as bridesmaids or groomsmen. You may wish to invite your original bridal party and recognize them during the ceremony.
* Don’t register for gifts. This is not the time to upgrade the china. Wedding gifts are to help a newly-married couple set up their household together.
* Don’t throw bachelor or bachelorette parties. This is an obvious one – you aren’t bachelors or bachelorettes!
Who Should Lead the Vow Renewal?
Since presumably you have already done the legal marriage, this ceremony will not be legally binding. Therefore, you can question a judge or clergy member to officiate, but you can also question a friend or an adult child to lead the ceremony. For a simple vow renewal, you don’t necessarily need an officiant at all.
Usually vows are renewed when you have been married around 20-25 yrs. Sounds like to me you want to have a another wedding that will be fabulous for the both of you and you want to share it with the family memebers that were not there the first time around. Also, don’t have the wedding to prove them incorrect that is not what it is for. A wedding is a promise that you make in front of God and family that you like each other and you will be together no matter what life will bring to you.
I would do it on a special anniversary, have just been to one where they renewed their vows and then had a reception, was a lovely day for everyone concerned.
If it would mean a lot to you and your husband and his family, then do it. I just don’t know how many people would come to another wedding when you just had one so recently.
From a professional Wedding Consultant:
If you’re not sure on when, my suggestion would be to wait until your first “major” anniversary, which in your case would be 5 years. That way, you have your pic of reception and ceremony locations, you can really save up for it and you can take your time plotting. Plotting a vow renewal can be nearly as involved and stressful as plotting the wedding so if you can take your time, that will help keep the stress to a minimum.
I reckon it’s a fantastic thought especially if a lot of people missed out on the first ceremony. My father is a truck driver as well, so I can imagine how you must have felt to not have him give you away that day and it’s fantastic that your brother-in-law has returned safely.
Best of luck and pleased plotting
I would personally wait until a specific milestone. You’re still showing them that you’re together and you made it, but you’d be showing them even more at 5 years or 10 years. If the money is extra, take a trip, do something you would delight in or save it up and continue saving. It never hurts to have a nest egg. I would also sugguest letting go of any resentment you currently have (if any) to those who were not initally pleased for you. I would not throw all that money into something for them, but I do agree on wanting to have a nice ceremony and pictures of a joyous event. But, personally I would wait, I wish you the best of luck.
My husband and I had our wedding on December 17, 2006 in my inlaws livingroom. It was not what my husband and I wanted. Because I was pregnant we had a quick wedding in my mother in laws house. We plotted on having a party the following June when we oringinally plotted to get married. But, my sister in law said lets change it to her parents 50th birthday party instead. At the time I was pregnant and I wanted the wedding but I would have not fit into my dress and now we are regretting the fact that we NEVER got the wedding we wanted. NEVER got our dance, NEVER got the dance with our parents. We wanted a traditional wedding the white gown and the tuxedos and never got it. It was not about the money or the gifts. It was about the special ceremony that we NEVER got. My sister in law is getting married this August and she was the one that changed everything to what she wanted. She had a shower, a jack n jill and a bachlorette party too. My husband and I never got those things and we wanted to have them. Is it a excellent thought????
Laurie
My husband and I NEVER got the wedding we wanted either, no first dance, no dance with parents, no bachlorette party. but is it really about those things?? I am still deeply in like with my husband and this next year will be our 10 year anniversary. instead of thinking about the past I’m thinking about the future. We will renew are vows with or family and friends present with a ceremony and reception no attendants, but my Kids will each have a role. I reckon instead you should try having a vow renewal for your next huge anniversary. no such thing as a redo you are already married.