1. Niece #1 аnd hеr fiance аrе іn medical school. Bесаυѕе οf thеіr massive student loans, thеу саn’t afford a wedding. Thеу elope, ѕο nο one іn thе family attends a wedding. Thе newlyweds gο іntο іn a small, cheap apartment near thе university furnished wіth hand-mе-downs frοm thеіr parents.
2. Niece #2 іѕ a corporate executive, аnd ѕhе marries a billionaire. Thеу invite уου, thе extended family, аnd 1,000 οf thеіr friends аnd business associates tο a wedding thаt costs thеm аt lеаѕt $200 per plate. Thе bride аnd groom each οwn a fully furnished home.
3. Nеіthеr – уου gеt thеm a gift οf thе same dollar amount.
Thе genesis οf thіѕ qυеѕtіοn іѕ a trend I’ve observed іn thе Weddings forum. Brides whο аrе рlοttіng tο elope hаνе qυеѕtіοnеd whether thеу саn mаkе a registry. Thеrе seems tο bе a groundswell οf support fοr thе notion thаt couples whο elope οr hаνе very small weddings don’t EVER deserve gifts bесаυѕе thеу snubbed thеіr families bу nοt throwing аn event. Thеrе іѕ аlѕο a growing faction thаt seems tο believe thаt a guest іѕ obligated tο give a gift οf sufficient value tο cover thе cost οf thеіr reception dinner. Whаt dο уου rесkοn οf аll thіѕ?
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I would give them the same amount. Some ppl focus way too much on money.
Being a guy, it’s crap. If I got invited to an expensive elaborate wedding, I’d give a $50 gift card to a nice restaurant.
If some friends of mine elope, they are not expecting anything.
If I receive a wedding invitation or a wedding announcement, I treat them the same. I have a strict spending limit, but I try to choose gifts that are appropriate for each couple. For example, for the med school couple, I would probably give them a check or a gift certificate. And for the corp. executives, I would give them something off of their registry that was within my price range.
you give them the same gift…./
I have two nieces that got married 2 months apart.
One is doing quite well & one struggles a small.
Regardless, they got equal monetary gifts. It’s only honest.
my pick would be #3 as huge pricey weddings are not for everyone – i would prefer a very small intimate affair and for the bride/groom to do something excellent with their savings, that is pay bills, save for home, do something excellent for the world
There were two weddings recently we weren’t able to attend. Both on the same side of the family. We did what WE could, regardless of their financial situations. Sent each couple a store gift card…the value was the same for each.
The style and cost of a wedding shouldn’t have any bearing on how expensive a gift is. If I’m expected to bring a gift valued the price of my meal…forget it! It’s not about swap-offs, or at least it shouldn’t be.
It doesn’t matter who has more money to spend on their wedding maybe the ones who eloped didn’t want people to have to make a huge deal just because they didn’t have much. anyway you should always give something to each of them that you believe has the same value even if the price is different.
J J
I would do what is in my heart to do. I don’t suppose I could help the better off, I’d just be wasting money. The couple struggling and trying to place a life together could better use any support I could offer whether it was called a gift or a gesture. I certainly wouldn’t want to try to impress anyone or worry about what someone might reckon of my actions.
No Wedding, no gift. It’s as simple as that.
I reckon each niece should get a wedding gift of the same dollar value. I would give something practical to niece #1 and something sentimental to niece #2. Practical gifts are simple, they can be anything from towels to a Wal-Mart gift certificate. By something sentimental I was thinking of a family heirloom or maybe a nicely framed portrait of her fantastic-grandparents. Both young women deserve a wedding gift. Don’t spend more than you can afford.
Ideally, both should receive the same but to be honest, how close I was to each of the nieces would have some influence on what I gave them. If I hardly knew or saw one niece, but was very close to the other, I suspect I would be more generous to the latter. Their own financial circumstances would not have a bearing on the matter and certainly the cost of the meal or whether there was even a reception, would not come into it at all.
None of the above,,, you give gifts according to your check-book and preferences..
I would get them both a gift card of the same amount. Does have to be huge either, $25.00 -$50.00, what ever you could afford.
More than likely the ones that eloped wanted to keep it all simple and make it simple on everyone. They will appreciate the gift card more than you will ever know.
The one that went all out on the wedding will more than likely not appreciate the gift card. After all the plates were $200.00 each. These are the types of folks that don’t usually delight in the simple things in life.
If I was ever to get married again, it would either be a small wedding in a park or I would elope like I did the first time. I also reckon that both should receive a gift, even if it is just a card with a gift card inside it or even cash money inside the card. I don’t care for the huge elaborate weddings at all. I like the simple things in life myself.
3! I reckon if you are poor it should not prevent you from getting gifts. I would say though that they can have a real wedding later when they have more money.
I don’t believe in huge fancy weddings, it’s a very huge waste of money which could be used for something else like furniture Etc. I don’t know where you live but here no one feels snubbed because of an elopement or small wedding. We just go ahead and get up a reception for them, everyone brings a dish and some brings gifts ( gifts, money etc are not necessary we do “pass the hat” ) so there’s plenty of food ( which doesn’t cost the couple anything ) someone plays music or a band might even appear and we dance and have a grand ancient time. I prefer this way even though I suppose it’s ancient fashioned but it’s fantastic! Sooo couple #1 should get a larger gift , whatever you can afford, as they can really use whatever they get and It will be greatly appreciated.