I hаνе bееn trying tο gеt a fаntаѕtіс аnѕwеr tο thеѕе silly qυеѕtіοnѕ fοr a whіlе. I hаνе picked ѕοmе fаntаѕtіс friends tο bе раrt οf mу wedding party.
Mу problem іѕ thаt mу fiancé hаѕ two brothers аnd thеу both hаνе girlfriends. One οf thе girlfriends lives іn thе town over frοm υѕ ѕο I аm close wіth hеr. Thе οthеr girlfriend lives 2 hours away аnd I lіkе hеr bυt wе dο nοt see hеr thаt much tο bе аѕ close. I wanted tο qυеѕtіοn thе girlfriend thаt lives close bу tο bе іn ουr wedding bυt I don’t know аbουt thе one thаt lives two hours away, I аm nοt аѕ close wіth hеr. I feel lіkе thеrе wουld bе hυrt feelings іf I qυеѕtіοnеd one аnd nοt thе οthеr? Many people hаνе ѕаіd qυеѕtіοn thе one уου аrе close tο аnd nοt thе οthеr bυt I аm nοt sure thаt thе girlfriend thаt lives far away really understands thаt I аm closer wіth thе οthеr girlfriend bесаυѕе ѕhе іѕ never around. Sο therefore I dο nοt rесkοn ѕhе wουld know whу I qυеѕtіοnеd thе οthеr girlfriend аnd nοt hеr???? I hаνе hаd ѕοmе qυеѕtіοn whу nοt јυѕt qυеѕtіοn both οf thеm bυt раrt οf mе feels lіkе I аm asking someone whο really isn’t a hυgе раrt οf mу life аnd mау nοt care аѕ much аѕ a friend wουld.
I wουld lіkе ѕοmе suggestions аnd direction. I dеѕріѕе tο hυrt anyone’s feelings over such a silly situation.
Alѕο another qυеѕtіοn! I hаνе a friend frοm thе fifth grade wе hаνе bееn friends straight through bυt іn thе past three years things hаνе changed a lot аnd wе hаνе changed bυt I wіll always rесkοn οf hеr аѕ mу friend. Wе υѕе tο talk οn thе phone аnd hang out аll thе time. Wе now hаνе a two hour distance between υѕ аnd talk mostly through email. Iѕ thіѕ someone уου wουld qυеѕtіοn tο bе раrt οf уουr wedding? Or іѕ іt better tο qυеѕtіοn current here аnd now friends rаthеr thаn friends уου hаνе hаd аll уουr life bυt hardly talk tο anymore.
If anyone саn give mе ѕοmе ехсеllеnt advice thank уου. I over rесkοn everything!
-Known both οf thеѕе brothers girlfriends fοr six years
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I went through the same thing, the friend thing. I would say question your long time friend as well as new friends. They are ALL a part of your life; just different parts. They’re both just as excellent of friends, just at different times.
And, honestly, I’d question the other girlfriend. If you really didn’t like her at all, I’d say no. But, it really might make things simpler on you and your fiance if you question her. As long as there aren’t ill feelings between the two of you and there is room for another girl, I say go for it. But, ultimately it’s up to you of course.
Excellent luck in whatever you choose!! And congratulations!!
if u dont want to hurt anyones feelings just question both, at the end of the day would they invite u to there wedding if they was to get married.?
and as for ur friend question her how much more money would u be spending for 2 extra people to come.
Well when you question one girl and not the other the other girl will realise you are close. Don’t question people just out of a feeling of “obligation”. You are right in thinking it should be only people who you are close to.
As for your long time friend: I am in the same situation. I have been friends with this one girl since about grade 7, we have known each other since kindergarten (so since we were about 3/4). but, when she went away to school she changed a LOT and never seems to have time for me! I haven’t even be able to get her out for a quick drink or coffee date out of her (and I’ve been trying for 4 months) I keep hearing “sorry I’m really busy”. She will NOT be in my wedding party. She’ll be invited, but not as a bridesmaid. Amusing thing is, since grade 2 we had this on going joke she would always be my maid of honour, and I always thought she would up until about a year ago. It’s sad, but that’s life. I chose to have people who are here for me now! But you can have her in it if that’s what you want.
Excellent luck!
I do not reckon you are obligated to invite the other girl with whom you are not as close to be part of the wedding party. My aunt has 5 brothers, and she only questioned 1 of the wives to be in the wedding because they were really close. The other ladies were not hurt. I don’t reckon it even crossed their minds.
I mean would you want to be in the wedding party of someone you are not close with?
Oh and as far as your other friend, if she does not have time to see you now, how is she going to have time to be a bridesmaid? It’s a lot of work. Are you the person who is reaching out to her more often than her reaching to you? Maybe you should get together with her for dinner or something and see how it goes. She might be insanely busy with other things in her life without much time to a bridesmaid. You never know though.
It the end it’s about what you are comfortable and pleased with.
It’s a hard question to answer. My advice and the advice I’ve gotten from others is question only people you know that you feel there is a future. I talked to my mom about this issue and she said she regrets asking her one friend to be in her wedding because she really has not seen her since (26 yrs later).
In my own experience question people who are up to the job and don’t feel obligated because they are family or because a friend from way back when. I questioned a friend to be in mine because we have been friends for 15 years and because she questioned me to be in hers. Long tale small, I saw her right colors and how she’s changed in past year and regret having her in my wedding. She had issues with the dress, she had issues showing up to the shower, she had issues helping with favors, etc etc. My whole wedding was an issue for her. She was a bridezilla. Anyway, pick your closest friends/family and don’t worry about hurt feelings. It’s YOUR day! If you want to include someone but maybe not in the bridal party you can question them to do special things for you. I questioned one friend to read at my wedding and my cousin to make sure my candles and stuff were taken to the reception hall. Excellent luck!!
First, question the girlfriend that you are close to, and not the other one. This day is about you, and having people you are close to around you for support, not about pleasing everyone. If you are really worried about offending her, why not question her to do something else at the wedding? She could be in charge of the guest book, or hand out programs. If she’s not that close to you, she will probably be relieved that you don’t question – weddings are expensive! As far as your childhood friend goes, only you will be able to choose that. Being two hours away, is she going to be able to attend the different functions? Do you talk regularly, or just occasionally? If it were me, I would just pick the people I am closest to. Excellent luck! I know there are a lot of decisions to make, but don’t stress out. If these people are really your friends, then they will be pleased for you, regardless of whether you make them a member of the bridal party or not.
Referring to your first question: I would definetly invite the closer friend but if your other friend is the kind of person who holds grudges than i would say absolutely invite her. your reputation matters a lot!
Second question: you should invite her too, it would be a nice reunion and who knows, maybe you’ll reckon the change is for the better
For you first question I would question only the girl that you are close with. The other one you can question to be apart of the ceremony in a different way… maybe have her read a passage or question her to help with the wedding programs.
About your childhood friend that is up to you, I had a mixture of new and ancient friends. My older friends I don’t talk to often because of life(job/kids/spouses) but they are still fantastic friends and I was in their weddings.
you would not like my answer to question #1 i say do not question either girl i thinking asking a girlfriend is a tough situation because if they brake up will you two still be Friends. His wife i can know
#2 invite her since you have kept in contact over e-mail
I questioned my friend who had been friends with me for 15years to be my maid of honor. She gladly accepted until about 3 months before the wedding when she informed me that she was refusing to wear a dress. I was upset and finished up having my step daughter who while was a bridesmaid, I am not particularly close to. She has never really taken to me.
It is your special day. Have the people who make you pleased involved. The girlfriend who you are not close to may not know why you have not picked her but if you tell her politely that it is not that you don’t want her involved but you do not feel you know her well enough and it is your special day. Believe me, it may take her time to get used to the thought but she will see it when she has time to let it sink in. She will start to reckon about what she would like for her wedding and she will be fine.
Follow your heart and not what other people say and you will do the right thing.
Excellent Luck
Honestly, I wouldn’t question either girlfriend to be in the wedding. You can invite them to in the rehearsal dinner and other wedding activities because they’ll be the date of the groomsmen. Look at it this way, you’re saving them the several hundred dollars that the dress, shoes, and other things would cost and they will still get to be a special part of the day if you include them in the rehearsal dinner, head table, etc.
If you can see yourself continuing to stay in touch with your childhood friend, I’d consider giving her a spot in the wedding.