i’m looking fοr οthеr mens advice here. Hеr аnd i gοt married a month ago, i didnt bυу аnу rings аnd ѕhе never qυеѕtіοnеd fοr one. уеt whеn women find out wе gοt married аnd qυеѕtіοn tο see hеr ring ѕhе shys away, hіdеѕ hеr hands аnd leaves. bυt ѕhе never qυеѕtіοnѕ fοr a ring аnd whеn i mention ѕhе ѕауѕ іtѕ nοt vital. mу family аnd friends, hеr family аnd friends ѕау ѕhе′s јυѕt nοt thе type tο complain аbουt something lіkе thаt аnd dοеѕ nοt want mе tο feel tеrrіblе. bυt wе hаνе both bееn married before аnd i dont see whаt аll thе excitement іѕ аbουt thе 2nd time. wе dated fοr 4 years аnd i hаνе never bουght ѕο much аѕ a card fοr hеr fοr anything. i dіd bυу hеr a t-shirt one time аnd a bottle οf nail polish. ѕhе hаѕ gotten used tο nοt having аnd nοt being spoiled. whу ѕhουld i ѕtаrt a nеw trend bесаυѕе wе ѕаіd “i dο″. i dіd аll thаt wіth mу first wife аnd іt gοt mе nowhere bυt divorce court аnd a very greedy bοnе іdlе ex-wife. thіѕ one works 60-70 hous a week, keeps hеr money, bills tο herself
іf ѕhе іѕ working, keeping hеr bills, money, accounts аnd problems tο herself, whу dο i want tο spoil thаt, ѕhе іѕ very independent. mу first wife wаѕ nοt even thе slightest bit lіkе thіѕ one. i lіkе thіѕ one better, thе first one wουld nοt even рlасе gas іn thе car fοr herself, i hаd tο dο thаt. ѕο whу dοеѕ everyone mаkе a hυgе deal аbουt a set οf rings. i dont wear one аnd dont care, ѕhе doesn’t qυеѕtіοn ѕο whу ѕhουld i feel tеrrіblе.
Ok tο clear a few facts up I probably ѕhουld hаνе ѕаіd earlier, mу first marriage lasted 14 years bυt wе wеrе together 16 аnd hеrѕ wаѕ 10 years аnd thеу wеrе together 14. i hаνе 5 kids ѕhе hаѕ 4. wе аrе nοt аblе tο hаνе аnу together. i аm 47 ѕhе іѕ 33 аnd thе total lіkе οf mу life.
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You can get a gold band, a plain ancient gold band, for less than $100. Get her a band and you wear one too, or better yet, have bands tatooed on your ring fingers. Then you’ll never lose it.
I hope you get a nice bottle of nail polish for yourself from Santa.
Strong women also need to feel like porcelain. If you like her, you’d do more than just buy her nail polish. It isn’t even the gift, its just the thought that you appreciate her for who she is. She won’t complain, but deep inside, she want to see a ring on her finger because its a sign that she is yours willingly and likes you as you like her.
She might not admit it, but wedding rings are very vital to women. You should probably get her one, even if it is a cheaper one.
Wow. You sound selfish. Why would you not want to give her a token to show your feelings? I can’t believe she would marry you, when after 4 years of dating you bought her a t-shirt and nail polish. You are such a romantic.
It sounds like she wants you to buy a ring for her but doesn’t want to start an argument about it. Stop comparing her to your first marriage. You will get no where and quick if you keep doing that and you don’t want to lose a excellent thing.
Tradition.
Dont make your second wife pay for what your first wife did. I despise to say this, but your wife should not have to question you to buy her a ring and unless she tells you “No I dont want a ring” You better buy her a ring! LOL. If you never buy your wife anything, thats fine, but you have to at least get her a ring. Obviously she is committed to you and likes you that she would place up with that. But lets look at this from another point of view. When those friends question to see her ring and she doesnt have one, she is embarressed by you. She wants her friends to see what a fantastic guy she has and its pretty hard to do that when you dont even get her a ring. So go ahead and give her a reason to brag about you and buy her a ring, ok buddy?
It may not be vital to her… but to other women it is.. she would probably shy away because she doesn’t want to defend her beliefs because her beliefs are in the minority. Or she doesn’t want to make you should cheap. A ring and it’s size is significant of how excellent of a man she landed and how much she means to him. Which isn’t the vital thing to her- she knows how excellent of a man you are and she knows she is vital to you and she doesn’t need a ring to justify that. She may be worried that if she questions you for a ring you will reckon that she is that materialistic, when in fact she is not, but she doesn’t want her friends to reckon that she’s married a man that doesn’t reckon she’s special enough to get a ring. Maybe it’s not vital to her for you to give her a ring, but it is vital for her to be able to show off your like for her in a way more people know. My advice to you. Plot a Vacation and a Renewal of vows ceremony somewhere special and surprise her with rings… you come across as the sweetheart and she then has a romantic tale to tell all her girlfriends that’ll make them more jealous than the ring.
You got it excellent with that second wife of yours. I just hope you had her sign a pre-nup.
Anyway, as to rings, it is up to you both. If it is such a huge problem for her and for you both, let her buy YOU a wedding band and you do the same for her. Net effect to you: $0.
The rings never fased me either. I was pleased with the ones he gave me though. For an thought, what you could do is for her birthday or your 1st Wedding Anniversay you could give her a ring. If you shop around right you can get really nice rings not too expensive. Have a reckon! Excellent Luck!
The tradition of the ring dates back so far it’s ridiculous. Mostly to keep unworthy men from getting married to a daughter that had a rich father. Then the men got so terrible that even a lower class father was worried for their daughters future. The rings were normally given to the father by all the suiters as gifts to sort of buy the daughters hand in marriage. The one who gave the largest ring (which went on the fathers walking stick) (Staff) or the one with the most rings wins the daughter. Of course the new son would stay with the father-in-law for a few seasons and then get the entire staff of gold rings, but, this would show the father that his daughter would have security. Now in your case the daughter and suiter seems to have traded places. To not give a ring suggests you want to shoplift the daughter. These men were usually stoned. and not on beer dude. Lucky for you things have changed for the worst!
It is vital because it is a sign of commitment and your like to her. The fact that you want to keep everything separate and have her do everything on her own, does not bode well for the upcoming marriage. Quit comparing her to wife #1.
Diamonds are a girls best friends! So the ancient saying goes. Anyways, woman like things like engagement rings and wedding bands….the way men try and impress each other with cars that woman could care less about. Surprise her with a ring or a simple gold wedding band. It will not spoil her, but show her you like her and that you consider her feelings.
grow some balls bud. I’ve been married twice and bought rings both times. What you described isn’t marriage it’s a convenience to you. She should kick your a** to the curb, the day you got married you should have at-least place a gold band on her finger to show her you do LOVE HER. But were you don’t want a marriage you want to be able to claim your Friend with benefits. If I were part of her family I would have already taken you out and beat your a**. quit being so childish . By the way I am currently divorced now and would buy a THIRD set because it’s part of marriage and does make your wife pleased knowing you are willing to do even the small things. SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO ASK…………………..
F99
GET HER A RING ALREADY!!!!!!!!
Sounds to me that she doesn’t want to upset things because she knows you had a shitty first marriage. Your ex-wife sounds like a spoiled brat. Your new wife sounds fantastic and down to earth. I also recommend getting her small inexpensive tokens of your like and appreciation, but a t-shirt and nail polish?!?!?!? PLEASE!!!!!
. Maybe she never said anything before because she doesn’t want to be petty, but nearly all women like getting cards and small tokens of like.
I’ve been married for 8 years and I can tell you it’s the small gifts and cards my husband gives to me that mean more to me than the huge stuff. I have a huge diamond ring, but I never wear it anymore because it will scratch my kids’ skin. But I still have a plain yellow gold band and a white gold anniversary band with small diamonds set in that I switch around. You could do something like that for her.
You sound pretty young because you still seem to care what others reckon. Don’t worry what other people reckon about it, it’s what she thinks about it that matters. I used to worry if my ring was huge enough or the right cut or whatever when we used to live in Orange County, but then I realized that if that is what matters to the other people, then all those people were superficial a$$holes.
To me, the ring is a symbol of your level of commitment. You are showing the world that your heart belongs to someone else. I agree with everyone else, you need to wear one too. Otherwise, why did you get married?
You didn’t say how long you were married before. But I’m telling you, with 8 years under my belt, I know what’s vital, and that is the two of you, and no one else.
Sit down and talk to her and question her opinion on the matter. Open communication is the keystone to a long lasting, pleased marriage.
Are you really that flighty or just plain selfish? I reckon you said it yourself. She respects you and likes you for some reason. That’s a excellent reason to get her a ring. So what things didn’t work with your first wife, she isn’t responsible for that situation, so why should she have to pay for something she didn’t have any part in. It sounds like you really take her for granted. Maybe she has a real heart and does not want you to experience feeling terrible like she does do she doesn’t say anything to you and dont want you to see that it hurts her deep inside. She obviously does not want to embarrass you thats why she excuses her self aound people. But I would reckon that if you loved her enough that you would marry her you want the world know she is spoken for, hence the ring! HELLO!!! Thats fantastic she works hard and can take care of herself. But read between the lines and be a loving husband. Valentines day is comeing up get a ring at walmart they start at $18.00 and aint that worth a smile and a look in her eyes you will never forget. She should not have to question or buy her own just to have what is tradition. It sounds like she is worried to depend on you or you may criticize her for being something like your ex-wife. Its time to let her “unpack and relax” so to speak. cant you save $30 between now and Valentines day and buy you and her a set of rings from walmart??? and then maybe save a $100 between valentines day and christmas and get her that engagement ring.
If you want to make the second marriage work, it sounds to me like you better get ro work and get going on the right foot. She may not ever unpack and leave you selfish butt behind, I never would have said I-do after 4 years of not even a birthday card or valentines day flower.
Sorry dude, Some men feel the same ! It is a symbol for your eternal comittment ! It is what gentlemen do !!!
It wouldn’t be such a new trend if you got her a ring. Hopefully it will be the last for each of you, so there would be no new trend to repeat, and even if it is a simple band, I’m willing to bet that it would floor her. It’s just a simple ring, but something to see and smile about, and also an outward sign to say “Hey world–yeah, that’s right–he’s mine and I’m proud to let the world know!” Just do it.
Because women reckon getting married and everything that goes with it will make them pleased. What all men find out is that it doesn’t matter what you do for them, marry them or buy them women are never pleased!!!
do something simple, i am not a woman who needs a expensive ring but i wanted “a ring” , you can get her a titanium one, they are sturdy, nice looking and simple yet really classy she will like it.. its doesnt cost a fortune either
http://www.titanium-jewelry.com/